


prepare a throne of stars above me

by kolbietheninja



Series: KHR Crossovers [2]
Category: Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: (bc why not both???), (between khr & Arthurian legend in general), (sun guardianship is shared between ryohei & kyoko much like mukuro & chrome), BAMF!Haru, BAMF!Kyoko, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lightning Guardian Haru, No Romance, No character bashing, Reincarnation, Sun Guardian Kyoko, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolbietheninja/pseuds/kolbietheninja
Summary: He's Arthur, and he's Tsuna, and he should only be one, but he's both, and he can hardly bear the heartache and weary, unending exhaustion in his very bones. Can hardly bear Arthur's mistakes and the blood on his hands and the 'what if's and 'should have's and 'if only's. Can hardly bear the weight of Arthur's sorrow and mourning for a life cut short and a world disappeared- because here, King Arthur and his loved ones are only fairy tales, even though the life they lived was oh so very real.[He's tired, so tired of being alive, but Tsuna has only just begun to live. But Tsuna has his own larger than life ambitions, and what does Arthur's exhaustion matter in the face of this new life, this new love and hope and dream?]





	1. as the world once known will leave me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story in one wherein Arthur Pendragon the legend is reborn as Tsuna. He was a real person who lived and died, but upon his death, he ascended to Hero of Legend status and thus was influenced greatly by all the legends that came after, making him more like the pure, noble symbol he's usually portrayed as rather than what might have been the reality.
> 
> If this sounds similar to the Fate series, that's because I am loosely basing Arthur off of both Saber and Proto Saber. It's not either of them, though, as I have yet consume any Fate media whatsoever. On that note, I've done some research on Arthurian legends, and I'm cobbling things together to suit my own needs.
> 
> Spending a lot time researching for fic always ruins the fun for me, however, so this will contain the bare minimum of that. If that bothers you, I understand, and you don't have to read! I'm not looking for constructive criticism either. This is just for fun, and I hope some of you will enjoy it. ;)
> 
> The title is from "Take Me Away" by Globus.
> 
> Notes from here on out will not be this long.

**I.**

From the moment he's born, Tsuna is an odd child. He rarely cries, even when hungry or uncomfortable. Nana and Iemitsu have to set up a schedule to check on him because they have no cries or noises to alert them, and it worries her.

She tells her husband of her concerns.

"He's a good, strong man, just like his papa!" Iemitsu exclaims, holding tiny Tsuna high up above him, a position which never fails to make their little baby boy laugh in delight. He then brings Tsuna's face next to his, and they both look at her as Iemitsu says, "See? We Sawada men protect our family - from even our own pain if we have to!"

Nana smiles, accepting the explanation and Iemitsu's warm reassurance. When Tsuna immediately smiles back at her and makes grabby motions towards her, she melts, laughing as she obligingly takes Tsuna from her husband and kisses him on his head. "I see, I see! How lucky I am to have two such strong, handsome men to protect me!" She gushes, making Tsuna giggle and Iemitsu throw an arm around both of them with a chuckle.

**II.**

Even after the reassurance, she's happy to find out Tsuna laughs and plays like any other child. His favorite game in particular seems to be finding things to wave around like a sword. Even before learning to walk, it's not unusual to spot Tsuna crawling around and finding objects with which to play. Usually, Nana gives him harmless items like paper towel tubes or rolled up paper taped on one side, things he can't hurt himself with or accidentally swallow.

By the time Tsuna is four, her husband and her son play-fighting with 'swords' is a common sight in the house, and Nana has plenty of pictures and videos of the absolutely adorable spectacle.

Often, she is pulled into the narrative as the damsel in distress, a position she plays with heart and enthusiasm.

"I'll defeat you, Hero, and win the princess for myself!" Iemitsu declares, laughing maniacally as he dodges a swipe of a very convincing fake sword (a paper towel tube with a cutout of a sword Tsuna drew and colored taped to both sides.)

From where she's sitting in the castle (the couch with chairs behind it and a cover draped over said chairs, vaguely in the shape of a castle), Nana presses the back of her hand against her forehead and bemoans, "Oh no! Please, Tsu-kun, won't you save me?"

"Of course I will! Never fear, Princess Mom!" Tsuna shouts, blanket cape billowing majestically behind him as he trades blows with Iemitsu. "Your hero is here!" He finishes proudly.

Nana hides her smile. That line is a favorite of his, one the 'best hero ever!' says every time he rescues his princess on TV. Excluding the 'Mom' part. "My hero is so brave!" She cheers.

As if motivated by her words, with a crow of triumph, Tsuna finally manages to break through Iemitsu's guard.

"Curses!" Iemitsu yells, clasping the sword between his side and the crook of his elbow as he falls to his knees and then collapses, defeated. "You have vanquished me!"

"Yay!" Nana exclaims, laughing as she catches Tsuna, who began running toward her as soon as he knew he'd won. She hugs him tightly and says, "You did it, Tsu-kun!"

Tsuna pulls back and smiles up at her, proud in his victory. He has his father's blonde hair, but the green-blue eyes were a surprise when she first saw them. Nana doesn't think she's ever seen a color so pretty. Those eyes are practically sparkling now as Tsuna says, "'Course I did, Mama! I'm the hero!"

**III.**

Since Tsuna turned two, Iemitsu has traveled for work more and more. First, just a few days. Then, he was gone for a week or two. Eventually, it became months, and only a week after Tsuna's fifth birthday, Iemitsu brings her aside and quietly, regretfully tells her he'll be gone much longer this time.

"It's for work," he explains, with a half shrug, as if to say _'there's no helping it.'_ His face is lined with reluctance, with the desire to stay, even as they both know he won't.

Nana has always known her husband's work takes first priority. He's a constructor who works for Vongola, that company which seems to have ties to just about everything - from cruises, to theater, to electronics like cellphones and computers - and even she knows it would be foolish to risk such a well paying job. Plus, Iemitsu's surrogate father works there, and he has close friends there.

"We're like one, big family," he once told her, and she knew he hadn't been exaggerating.

So even if she would like Iemitsu to stay with her and help her raise their child, she also isn't going to complain about it or ask him to choose. Her parents didn't raise her to be selfish, after all, and it's not in her nature to deny her loved ones anything they love doing. She's just not made that way.

"I understand," she says, with a smile twice as bright as usual. Like her, he can spot the pain underneath, but he doesn't point it out either. He still looks unhappy, though, and that's not acceptable no matter how sad she might personally be feeling right now. "It's okay, really! I have Tsu-kun here with me now! There's no way I can be lonely," she insists.

"Honey-"

She flexes an arm and pats her bicep confidently. "I'm strong too, you know! Tsukino women are tough as nails. You've met my mother and my grandmother, so you should know, dear," she reminds him, laughing when he winces at the memory.

He chuckles too, won over by her charm. "You're right, as always," he concedes, and she lets him pull her close and rest his forehead against hers. When she snorts (because shouldn't that be obvious by now?), he whispers against her, voice choked with emotion, "I'm going to miss you so much. And little Tunafish, too. You're both my whole world."

Helplessly, she tears up, though she's smiling. "Us too. You're my soulmate," she tells him, just as quietly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he answers, leaning down to kiss her.

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses back, putting all of her love and adoration and sheer emotion into it, feeling Iemitsu do the same.

With him here in her arms, even if soon he'll be far away, she just knows they're going to be alright. Their love is the kind people write stories about, but it's no tragedy. It's also not the kind of love something so insignificant as distance can wear away.

They'll pull through, just like they always do.

**IV.**

After a year with Iemitsu away, Tsuna no longer asks when he's coming back home. It breaks her heart every time she has to explain that he's not - not yet - and maybe he notices. Her Tsu-kun is a smart, observant little boy, after all. Unfortunately, the few phone calls they get from Iemitsu while he's gone aren't enough to fill the void he left for either of them, and their happy, little home is just a little dimmer with only the two of them, despite their best efforts.

More than anything, though, Tsuna is upset he no longer has his dad as a playmate, and just as with Iemitsu before he left, Nana won't be having any of that. She takes her husband's place as the villain and occasional sidekick, but only after gently correcting Tsuna when - appalled - he informs her that girls can't fight.

"Girls can do anything boys can do," she tells him, and like always, Tsuna listens and doesn't argue like she's seen other children do. He's always been a good boy. "That silly stuff about only men being strong and fighting and women staying at home and being protected is just that - silly."

His nose scrunches up in confusion, as he digests her explanation. "But then why do people say it?" He asks. "When it's not true?"

She smiles sadly. "Because a lot of men are silly and don't always want to see the truth. Some women are silly, too, and think girls can only wear dresses and cook and clean. They don't think girls should play and get dirty."

"But Mama, you do that stuff," he points out.

"That's right, Tsu-kun! But I cook and clean and wear dresses because that's what I like to do. Your grandma never learned how to cook, and she and your grandpa always shared the job of cleaning the house," she explains, smiling wider when Tsuna's eyes grow big in wonder at such a small thing. "Your great grandma used to teach kendo before she got older and closed the dojo, and I've never once seen her wear a dress."

He looks awed, and Nana giggles. "So Great Grandma was really strong?"

She boops his nose, withholding another giggle when he pouts at her. "Super strong," she promises, pleased when Tsuna's looks delighted at the prospect. Her grandma _was_ amazing, and she'd surely have adored Tsuna - especially with his developing hero worship of her, if she knows him at all.

"Wow!" He says, and Nana laughs again, helplessly. "I wanna be like Great Grandma when I grow up!" He declares.

"Wow," she repeats, sharing his joy. "That's a good goal, Tsu-kun! I'm sure you can do it!"

And if she signs him up for kendo lessons as soon as she finds out the local dojo accepts children at age five, well, she's helping him fulfill his dream and hopefully distracting him from the gaping hole Iemitsu's absence has left in his wake.

**V.**

Not long after that, Tsuna asks her what a knight is.

"A knight? Well, Tsu-kun, a knight is a hero! They protect people and slay monsters! Knights are really nice, and they fight with big, sharp swords!" She explains with enthusiasm, hyping it up for her little baby, who has stars in his eyes. "Why do you ask, Tsu-kun?"

Suddenly, his little face grows serious, and he says, very seriously, "I'm gonna be a knight, Mama. Then I can protect you and everybody!" He pauses and then adds, again very seriously, "But not 'cause you're a girl! It's because you're family! Like Papa always says!"

She laughs, pleased, and swoops down to pick him up. He squeals in delight, and Nana peppers his cute, little face with kisses as he giggles. "Mama knows she can count on her little hero to save the day," she gushes. "My little knight!"

She doesn't know where this sudden fixation is coming from - Well, no, that's not true. Tsuna has always been fascinated by swords and princesses and adventures, but he's always just called himself the hero. He's never bothered to distinguish himself beyond that, and she has to wonder what brought this on.

Maybe a new show on TV? Or maybe he's just suddenly enamored with the idea of knights in general? He does jump from show to book to new toy a lot, though he never tires of sword fighting.

When Tsuna wiggles insistently, she puts him down, and he runs off to play in the living room with a hasty goodbye. She smiles after him before turning back to check the pot on the stove, still musing.

Ah, well, it doesn't matter, she decides. This just means she knows what theme his birthday party is going to be, and it will go perfectly with one of the presents she's already gotten him. After all, it's high time her little hero - her little _knight_ got a proper sword to duel with.

**VI.**

Iemitsu doesn't make it for Tsuna's sixth birthday, though he does set aside an hour that night to talk to them on the phone, for which both of them are grateful. Even more amazing is that after Tsuna tires himself out gushing about his new sword and falls asleep, Iemitsu tells her he's coming home for a few days and that he's bringing his boss - his father figure - to meet both her and Tsuna.

She agrees to keep it a surprise and doesn't tell Tsuna, but she's sure he notices she's beaming and singing more than usual the three weeks leading up to the day. He doesn't ask her why, merely enjoys her bubbly mood as it is and by extension becomes a little bundle of joy himself - more than usual, at any rate.

It's a much brighter, louder house as they await the return of their remaining family member, and Nana's glad for it. She and Tsuna could do with some cheer, and she doesn't want Iemitsu to feel guilty or come back to an unhappy home.

They're _not_ unhappy. They just miss him, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

"Mama, is someone coming over?" He finally asks after watching her clean the house and spend hours cooking a spread fit for a king.

She smiles at him and says, "Yes, Tsu-kun!" She then glances at the clock, and Tsuna follows dutifully behind as she makes her way toward the door, right as they hear a familiar knock. "And it's someone we both know quite well!"

Eyes growing wide in realization, he practically shouts in glee, "Papa?!"

Instead of answering, she opens the door, and almost immediately, Iemitsu sweeps in and scoops Tsuna up into his arms. "Tunafish!" He greets, just as gleefully.

Tsuna, as always, matches his enthusiasm. "Papa!" He yells, wrapping his tiny arms around Iemitsu's neck and squeezing.

"Iemitsu," she greets, smiling wider when her husband pulls her into the hug and squishes Tsuna between them.

"I'm back," he says, kissing her chastely.

"Welcome home," she says in return, unbelievably happy to be able to say it again. She notices their audience and pulls away to greet him as well. "Hello, you must be-"

"Timoteo," he answers, warmly, possessing scarcely a hint of an accent even though he's clearly not Japanese. "And you must be the lovely Nana. I have heard much about you. Iemitsu never stops talking about you and little Tsunayoshi." He says it with fond exasperation, and the care in his eyes as he looks at Iemitsu endears him to her instantly.

Iemitsu huffs, hitching Tsuna higher up his hip, "Hey, you never stop bit- uh, complaining to me about work, so we're even."

Nana laughs, sharing a smile with Timoteo. "Well, come on in, you two," she says, stepping back and ushering the men inside. She leads them to the living room and gestures for them to sit down. "I'll have dinner ready in a few minutes, so please, make yourself comfortable while you wait."

Timoteo takes the arm chair, while Iemitsu takes the couch, settling Tsuna on his lap, who has already jumped into telling his dad about one of their more harrowing adventures. "Thank you, my dear."

"Iemitsu's family is also my family," she tells him, firmly but warmly, and that's all there is to it.

He nods approvingly, and Nana straightens her apron, flashes a smile, and whirls around to go finish cooking. She doesn't notice Timoteo staring after her, equal parts contemplative and regretful.

**VII.**

Timoteo is a _delight_ , and she enjoys getting to know him, this man who is so important to her husband in so many ways. She's happy to have met him because now she won't have to worry that she's not around to take care of Iemitsu. He's got Timoteo looking after him, after all.

Tsuna loves him too and has no trouble accepting the man as his grandfather. She could tell it was important to her husband that they all get along, but he seemed especially pleased when Tsuna took a liking to Timoteo and vice versa. Nana is pleased too because besides Iemitsu and her, Tsuna has no other family to turn to. It's a relief to know that there's someone else he can confide in or contact should something happen to them, unpleasant as that scenario is.

The fact that Timoteo obliges Tsuna by listening to his excited babbling and actually takes up a sword and play-fights with her son even though the man must be nearing seventy at least- well, it certainly puts more points in his favor.

So she's just as disheartened as Tsuna is when he has to leave. It doesn't compare to the dismay Iemitsu's departure causes, but then again, she doesn't think anything could.

As it is, they both leave amidst teary, heartfelt goodbyes and tight, almost painful hugs, and as usual, it's back to Tsuna and Nana, alone in a house meant for much more - more than just them, at any rate.

"Come on, Tsu-kun. It's time for a nap, ne?" She says cheerfully, leading her sleepy, droopy-eyed six-year old to his bed. She'd pick him up, even as big as he's getting, but he insists he's a big boy now and can walk on his own.

She hides a smile as she tucks him in and presses a kiss to his mop of blonde hair. "We'll play whatever Tsu-kun wants once you wake up, okay?"

"Okay," he says, though he ends it on a yawn. "...Mama?"

She smooths his hair back from his forehead and prompts, "Yes, baby?"

"Did you know Grandpa can make fire?" He asks, enthusiasm leaking through his tiredness. "It was really cool!"

Fire? Oh! He must be talking about earlier when Timoteo had gotten on his knees and pretended to be the dragon to Tsuna's heroic knight. "Of course I did, baby. Your grandpa's amazing, yeah?"

"Yeah!" He exclaims, wiggling in excitement.

She laughs and kisses him again, warmed all over, her lingering traces of sadness blown away by her baby's adorableness, his sweetness and cleverness- his very existence. "I love you," she tells him, unbelievably grateful that she has Tsuna, that this bright, kind young boy is somehow _hers._ Hers and _Iemitsu's_ , and that more than makes up for his absence, when she's got the living, breathing embodiment of their love smiling up at her every day. _  
_

"Love you too, Mama," he says, mumbling now, eyes fluttering closed as sleep finally overtakes him.

She smiles, tucks the edges in again, and leaves the door cracked behind her. There's still dishes to do and lunch to make, and she has to call her hairdresser to make an appointment for Tsuna. His hair is getting a little long.

Humming, she rolls her sleeves up and gets started.

**VIII.**

Truth be told, when the time comes for Tsuna to finally start school, _both_ of them cry, neither wanting to be parted from the other, even for a little while. Nana's spoken with other parents, here and there, while out shopping or socializing, and it seems every one of them is all too happy to drop their kids off and leave them, so they can be alone for a while.

She thinks back to some of their horror stories, stories involving screaming and fighting and making messes and never listening to a word their parents say. She thinks about it and - guiltily - feels grateful Tsuna was - is - never so unruly or disobedient.

She doesn't put it down to parenting. She knows from her own mother that she was a hellion as a kid, and she hasn't raised Tsuna any differently- has, in fact, referred to her mother's advice for just about everything, from mothering to cooking to changing the tires on her car.

Tsuna is simply Tsuna, was born an intuitive, empathetic, and compassionate child, and she feels lucky all over again every time Tsuna tries to make her feel better or draws her pictures or crafts new adventures for them to act out or cleans up without being asked. Doubly so on that last one- because Tsuna learned how to clean simply by watching her without her ever having to explain a thing.

She enjoys having Tsuna around all the time, and she knows he loves it too, and she doesn't want to be away from him even for just half a day. He's her baby, her little knight, and- without him, without Iemitsu, she'll be lonely, in this big house by herself, and she hates that it's true, and she hates that Tsuna is probably thinking the same thing.

She hates that there's nothing she can do about it, and that there's nothing she _would_ do, if she could. Just as with Iemitsu, she won't keep Tsuna from leaving, would never, and-

And well, she has another concern weighing down her mind, making her reluctant to let her baby go.

Tsuna doesn't get along with other kids.

Oh, he's always up for a game or two when she takes him to the park, but he tires quickly of the other children, who change their minds so often and get distracted so easily, who fight over 'silly' things and then forget about it, who eye Tsuna and his plastic sword and his big words and his endless questions and collectively decide to leave him to his fantasies of knights and dragons and epic quests.

That suits Tsuna just fine, who has no problem playing alone and whose imagination is creative enough to entertain him for the few hours they spend there.

It worries Nana because children who stand out - no matter how brilliant, nor how amazingly kind and wonderful - inevitably attract attention, and it's not always the good kind.

For a short while, she believes her worries to be founded. Tsuna comes home that first day with faint bruises on his arms and a tear in his shirt. She asks bluntly whether he's being bullied - because she can't expect honesty without first being honest - and Tsuna looks contemplative for a moment before shaking his head and smiling.

"I think I made a friend," he says, and this is the first time in his whole life Nana doesn't automatically believe him.

She gently grabs hold of his shirt, right below the new tear and asks, "Did they do... this?"

Tsuna nods and then hurries to assure her, "We were... playing! He didn't mean to do it, Mama."

That... was a noticeable pause. "Are you sure, baby?"

He nods again, more emphatic this time. "He's kind of weird and didn't tell me his name, but he looked like he was having fun when we were playing!" Tsuna explains, eyes lighting up at the memory.

"That's great, Tsu-kun!" She tells him, and if this is real - if this other kid isn't a bully - then she means it wholeheartedly.

Otherwise, well, she doesn't know what she'll do.

**IX.**

Tsuna keeps coming home with bruises on his skin and tears in his clothes, but as time goes on, it happens less and less. Instead, more and more, Tsuna comes home bearing stories of his new friend.

"He's kind of mean, but that's only 'cause he doesn't like it when the other kids are loud or 'crowd' around him. When he's in a bad mood, I get the whole class 'cept him to play a game, so they'll leave him alone!"

"He likes to sleep a lot, so sometimes, I sit next to him and read or draw you pictures! I don't know if he wants me there, but he hasn't said he'll bite me to death yet, so I think it's okay."

"He says that a lot, but he hasn't ever bitten anybody, so I think he's just joking! When I asked him about it, he just growled, and we started playing again!"

"He carries around these shiny stick thingies to play with, so I asked Yukimura-sensei if I could have my shinai, but she said no. When I asked her about the stick thingies, she said it was a 'special case' and that I shouldn't worry about it."

"He doesn't talk much, so I just kind of guess what he means. He hasn't said I'm wrong yet, so I think I'm pretty good at it!"

Four weeks of this, and suddenly, Tsuna comes barreling into the kitchen, breathless with glee and grinning ear to ear as he tells her, "Mama, he told me his name! I stopped asking 'cause it bugged him, but today, he told me! It's Hibari Kyoya! I think we're really friends now!"

Hibari? She breathes a sigh of relief and makes sure to hide it as she ruffles Tsuna's hair in congratulations. Finally, finally, she can relax. The Hibari have protected Namimori for generations, after all. If anything, Tsuna is probably safer for befriending a Hibari, even if she's heard rumors of the boy being difficult.

What a silly thing to say, honestly. The Hibari are well known for being independent, and they hate being ordered about or tied down. It's the reason there's rarely more than one or two living here at a time, and even that is only because Namimori is Hibari territory. Little Kyoya's parents are its current protectors, and once he's older, they'll likely wander away and find some other territory to take over or occupy, leaving Kyoya to fulfill their familial duty.

In the meantime, though, Kyoya is just a little boy. He's Tsuna's first and only friend, and Nana will encourage this bond in the best way that she knows how.

"Ne, Tsu-kun," she asks, crouching down to be eye level with him, "do you know what Hibari-kun's favorite food is? I'd like to make him lunch as a thank you."

When Tsuna's whole face lights up, and he excitedly promises to find out tomorrow, _wow, what a great idea, Mama!_ , visibly happier than he's been since he was five and his father stopped being able to visit him, she knows she made the right choice.

**X.**

Tsuna invites Kyoya over once, and never again. Nana doesn't ask for details - Tsuna rarely leaves things out when he tells her about his day, so when he does, she knows it's for a good reason - but she does occasionally make hamburger steak for Tsuna to give him, happy to know he enjoys her cooking.

Kyoya never stops by, but halfway into Tsuna's third year of primary, two years after making his first friend, he brings home an absolutely adorable pair of siblings, Sasagawa Ryohei and his younger sister Kyoko.

"Sawada is a real man! He's extremely brave!" Ryohei yells, happily munching on the cookies Nana set out for them, never mind the still healing scar bisecting his left eyebrow.

Tsuna looks embarassed by the praise. "It was nothing," he mumbles.

"It wasn't nothing!" Kyoko disagrees, fiercely indignant. "You saved me and my brother! It was amazing!"

Next to her, Ryohei agrees loudly, and neither look like they're about to let Tsuna downplay his heroics. Sensing this, Tsuna smiles, exasperated, but he doesn't try to protest again.

Nana smiles too, proud and pleased to see Tsuna has more friends - and that he's still staunchly dedicated to helping others whenever he can. They'd discussed it before, and Nana had allowed him to do so only if he was sure the situation wasn't too dangerous for him to handle alone. Knowing that Kyoya has gotten Tsuna to agree to call him for backup if need be is another reason she doesn't mind Tsuna's heroics quite as much. Growing teens have a lot of energy, don't they?

Nevertheless she is always happy to hear stories about Tsuna - She's gotten stopped while out shopping more than once by those who Tsuna has helped - so she prompts the Sasagawa siblings to tell her all about it, and they don't disappoint. She has to admit it does sound impressive. The fact that Tsuna doesn't think much of it- well, he's always been humble, again without her influence.

They stay for a few hours, and right before they head home, they hesitate by the front door. Kyoko and Ryohei share a meaningful look, and then Ryohei grins, gives her a thumbs up, and steps outside, leaving Kyoko alone with Tsuna and Nana.

Nana and Tsuna share their own look, and Nana smiles at both of them before slipping into the kitchen and finding something to do while the children talk.

Despite the distance, their voices still carry, and Nana tries not to look like she's listening. She doesn't want to discourage anyone.

"...need something, Kyoko-chan?" Tsuna asks, concerned.

"You saved my brother," Kyoko says, quietly, clearly distressed, "and I couldn't do _anything_. I don't like fighting, and I don't want anyone to get hurt, but-" here, her voice breaks, and Nana's heart breaks with it- "but Nii-san won't _stop fighting_ , even after this, and I think- no, I _want_ to be strong like you, so I can protect him too."

There's a short silence, one in which she can imagine Tsuna giving Kyoko his serious, I'm-thinking-very-hard-about-something face, and then Tsuna says, "Okay."

"...Okay?" Kyoko repeats, hopefully.

Tsuna sounds like he's smiling. "Sounds good to me, Kyoko-chan."

"Okay!" Kyoko says again, much more enthusiastically this time. "I'm gonna ask my brother to teach me. I don't know about swords, but I'm good with my hands. Cooking and sewing can't be too different from boxing, right?" She jokes.

"Right," Tsuna replies, amused.

"Thanks, Tsuna-kun," she says, brightly. She then adds, louder, "Thanks for the cookies and milk, Nana-san! Nii-san and I loved them!"

Nana joins Tsuna and waves at her and her brother, who steps into view when the door opens, chirping, "It was no problem! Come see me again, Kyoko-chan, Ryohei-kun! I'll have more snacks ready!"

"We extremely will!" Ryohei promises while Kyoko nods in agreement. He waves wildly until they walk out of sight, but he can be heard for a while still.

Nana shuts the door, laughing at Ryohei's adorably endless energy. She feels a tug on her dress, and curious, she turns to Tsuna, who has that serious look on his face again.

"What is it, baby?" She asks, bending down and petting his fluffy, blonde hair to comfort him.

He asks, "Did I do the right thing, Mom?" And she knows he knows she heard every word.

Well, Tsuna would know just as well as Nana that sound carries from the living room to the kitchen. It's why she allowed a younger Tsuna to play in there while she cooked and cleaned.

"Her parents might not think so," Nana tells him because it's unfortunately common for girls to be discouraged from learning how to fight, even - or perhaps especially - by their own mothers, who experienced the same thing. "But there are some things children need to be able to decide for themselves, and I've only just met her, but this sounds like something Kyoko-chan _needs_."

Tsuna takes this in and mulls it over. "So... because it's important to Kyoko-chan, and she needs to do it, it doesn't matter what her mom and dad think?" He asks, dubiously - and with good reason.

Nana laughs. "It doesn't matter as much as what Kyoko-chan thinks," she explains patiently and doesn't worry Tsuna will use this against her later. He's not that kind of person, and if there does come a time where Tsuna needs to do something like this, she'll support him regardless. "Their opinion is important, but parents can't control every aspect of their children's lives, and they shouldn't try."

Tsuna nods, realization dawning. "It's okay for Kyoko-chan to learn boxing, even if her parents don't like it because it's important, and it's her choice, and they shouldn't try to stop her because of that too."

"That's the gist of it," she agrees and knows Tsuna will understand it better once he's older. She smiles and boops his nose, laughing at the unimpressed expression that gets her. "For what it's worth, I think you made the right choice. Kyoko-chan needed someone to give her the okay, and the fact that you did and that you didn't doubt that she could do it- she appreciated it a lot, and so did I."

Tsuna grins at her, delighted at the praise- or perhaps at the fact that he was able to help a friend. "Thanks, Mom!"

"Anytime, Tsu-kun."

**XI.**

When she goes through the mail, she's surprised to find a flyer advertising a home tutor.

"We can train your children to be future world leaders," she reads aloud.

She skims through the rest of it, interested. _Twenty-four hours a day, free of charge, as long they get room and board_. Hmm. She taps her chin, thinking. Tsuna's grades aren't bad, really. He's just not interested in school as much as kendo or helping people. Two activities Nana encourages, of course, but if Tsuna applied himself to his academics a little more, well, it could help him on later in life, right?

Plus, Tsuna was _born_ to be a world leader. He has charisma in spades, and someone as passionate about helping and protecting the less fortunate as Tsuna is running their government or attaining some other influential position could only be a good thing. She knows Tsuna, and he won't be satisfied until he's somewhere making real, impactful changes to the world.

With a cheerful hum, she dials the number. Tsuna will be so pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nana was unexpectedly fun to write. Out of all the points of view I tried to kick this fic off with, hers was the only one that actually cooperated - hence the almost 6k. Tried to write her as oblivious to some things - she lets Tsuna go around fighting people lol, has never thought Tsuna was too advanced or felt uneasy around him (like most parents to self/oc inserts, apparently), thinks Hibari is a sweet boy, what do you mean he's terrifying? - but not completely miss everything. I enjoyed showing all the ways things changed through her eyes. It certainly made the time skip to canon much easier lol.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think! Next up is Tsuna's and then Reborn's points of view. ;)


	2. take me away upon a plateau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really surprised by the awesome response to this, haha. Thanks to everyone for your kudos, comments, and bookmarks! I really appreciate it! I'm a little nervous now, but I'm also too excited not to post. Enjoy!

**I.**

_Is this... really all he can do?_

 

["-sure you won't regret it, A*t*ur?"

He smiles at the note of concern in his mentor's voice. "I-]

 

_Is this... what all his training, all his talk of protecting people... has come to?_

 

[-by as this country falls further into ruin. If I am chosen, I will make things right. It is my duty."

M*rl*n sighs, though his expression is pleased-]

 

_He can't... let Mukuro win. If he does, he'll lose... everything._

 

["-ppose you were ever going to change your mind, were you, my boy?"

At that, he can't help but laugh, even as he grips the hilt tighter in preparation. "You know me well."]

 

_He... **won't** lose. Not... again._

 

[-slides out of the stone with barely any effort at all, and those watching let out gasps of shock and awe.

The king has been chosen.]

 

**Never again.**

 

There's a bright, searing flash of light, and a roaring, white hot flame engulfs Tsuna from head to toe before sinking into his skin moments later, his battered body visibly unchanged despite the light show.

Indeed, outwardly, nothing has changed at all. Inwardly, things couldn't be more different.

Clarity comes suddenly and with swift understanding, and though there are questions that need answering ( _how and why did this happen, and why is he only remembering now?_ ), though his memories from right before his death are a hair's breadth away from spilling over and drowning everything ( _gods, but would the betrayals never end?_ ), there are other, more pressing matters to attend to.

His eyes snap open, a vibrant orange, and no one moves or speaks, wary as he shifts to his hands and knees and then slowly, carefully stands, painfully aware of every bruise and aching limb. His back straight and shoulders squared, he sends out a pulse of flames, and unlike before, his nondescript hoodie answers.

Instantly, gleaming, metal plates and smooth, durable cloth spread out from his torso and over his entire body, transforming everything in one fell swoop. Where once there was a hoodie, jeans, and sneakers, now there is a suit of armor unmistakably crafted for a knight.

Tsuna is the only one who recognizes it as something more. His old armor may have taken a new form - deep orange cloth instead of royal blue and the Vongola Family crest now engraved on the backs of of his hands - but it's nonetheless a reassuring and familiar weight. He'll have to remember to thank Leon later for this precious gift.

**II.**

"You continue to surprise me, Sawada Tsunayoshi," Mukuro interrupts the strangely heavy silence with a mocking smile. "It seems you've finally managed to figure out how to use that mysterious item of yours. I must say I'm disappointed, though. Here I thought it was supposed to be some grand weapon of sorts."

Sawada smiles at him, another shock, and says, "Leon creates what someone _needs_ , and he felt I needed armor. I can't say I disagree. Besides, I already own a weapon that is more than enough for you."

"Oh?"

He smiles widely, confidently, and reaches out to grab hold of a sword that isn't there- and suddenly, he's right in front of Mukuro, swinging nothing, and Mukuro goes flying into the far wall, blindsided by an unseeable force. In an instant, the others he's possessed are taken down one after the other until only the original is left.

Before Mukuro can do more than sit up, though, Sawada's on him again ( _when did he get so fast?_ ), arm held out as if leveling an invisible blade at his throat.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," Sawada warns, and impossibly, there's a sharp pressure against his skin as if daring him to disobey.

Wide-eyed, Mukuro finally notices the barely visible wind curling around the length of (what must be) a sword, as well as the slight breeze the weapon gives off. Even so, it's impossible to gauge the actual width or shape of it, and only his understanding of Sawada's character allows him to recognize it as a sword.

It must be an illusion, and yet it can't be. He would _know_. The blade pressed against his neck is very real, and from Sawada's hardened eyes, it's apparent he can no longer capitalize on Sawada's foolish hesitation to fight children.

"I don't know what your motives are, Mukuro, but if you want to change things, you're going about it the wrong way," Sawada tells him, disgustingly earnest behind his stern frown. "Hate and bloodshed will only breed more hate and bloodshed. There can be no lasting change without understanding, and there can be no understanding without communication."

"And how do you propose I _communicate_ my intense hatred and desire for the Mafia to be destroyed? I hope you aren't actually suggesting that simply talking will get anything done," Mukuro says, arching a brow in disbelief and voice perfectly masking the sound of Ken's movements behind them.

Sawada's expression grows ever so faintly morose as he explains, "I don't condone needless bloodshed, but I would be a fool if I believed Vongola and the Mafia world itself could be transformed without killing. Even so, I will only kill when there is no other option, and I refuse to harm those who are innocent or defenseless."

"Oh? The professed little knight has no qualms with getting his hands dirty? It might ruin your golden boy image," Mukuro taunts, restraining the urge to smirk victoriously as Ken strikes, aiming for the only unprotected part of Sawada's body, his head.

Without turning away from Mukuro, Sawada grabs the trident with his gauntleted free hand, snatches it away from Ken, and then knocks the boy unconscious with its handle. Ken drops like a puppet with its strings cut - exactly what he is, essentially - along with the last of Mukuro's control over him, and Mukuro scowls furiously at this failure.

"Even knights killed when necessary, and I will do what is necessary to take Vongola back to its vigilante roots. It's my duty," Sawada says, quietly sincere and intense and unruffled, as if he hadn't even been attacked.

"You... intend to-?" Mukuro asks, bewildered, before smirking somewhat sardonically, amused by the very idea. "Kufufu. Vongola, a vigilante group? That... I'd like to see." For the violent, horrified reactions of the Mafia and its precious Dons if nothing else.

Sawada opens his mouth to respond, lips quirked as if he can read Mukuro's thoughts, Mukuro prepares to summon more creatures behind him, and then the world explodes. Mukuro barely has enough time to register Sawada whirling around as part of the ceiling breaks, and large chunks of it descend far too quickly to dodge. Sawada bats most of it away with a gale of wind and fire from that invisible sword, but something slips past his guard and slams right into Mukuro.

The rest is lost to him as he descends into darkness.

**III.**

He wasn't quite fast enough to protect Mukuro from the debris, but then again, he hadn't expected the ceiling to give way so suddenly, not when Gokudera's bombs had hardly seemed to put a dent in it when he'd missed earlier. Kokuyo Land worked well enough for Mukuro's hideout, but it probably wasn't the best idea for everyone to fight _inside_ one of its dilapidated buildings.

"It's over," Reborn says, as the dust begins to clear. He has a Leon-phone against his ear, presumably in contact with allies. He's proven right when Reborn continues, "The Vongola medical team has arrived. They administered the antidote to Lancia in time too."

"That's good," Tsuna replies, relieved. "Can they take care of him, too?" He asks, gesturing to Mukuro who is at last visible under the rubble and dust.

Suddenly, a voice hisses, "Don't get too close!" He and Reborn turn to find Ken and Chikusa awake and crawling closer, too weak to stand. "The Mafia's not allowed to touch Mukuro-san!" Ken snarls.

Tsuna glances back at Mukuro and grimaces when he sees that he's unconscious and bleeding from a head wound. It doesn't necessarily look bad - as head wounds tend to bleed a lot anyway - but he can't move to check whether the damage is more serious because of the desperate threats and warnings being hurled at him from Mukuro's subordinates.

Besides, there's something he wants answered first.

"Why do you follow him? He views you as nothing more than pawns. You can barely move right now because he used you and possessed your bodies to fight me," Tsuna demands, worry for their well-being (they're _children_ ) battling with the knowledge that these guys have hurt not only his friends and family but innocent people like Fuuta and Kyoya's Disciplinary Committee - and that they would have done worse had Tsuna and his friends not intervened.

"You could never understand," Chikusa says, defiant despite his injuries, despite the odds.

"This is nothing compared to the pain we suffered back then," Ken grits out, still crawling towards Mukuro's unconscious body inch by inch.

Such loyalty. Tsuna breathes out a frustrated breath and asks, "What happened? What did Mukuro do to earn your devotion?"

Ken and Chikusa explain in turns, equally pained and bitter, about their own Family, their own parents betraying them, experimenting upon them to create new weapons to survive. About Mukuro destroying said Family and freeing them and giving them a place to belong.

"There's no way I'm gonna let you guys destroy that!" Ken declares, scowling as if daring them to try.

Fury rises up in his gut, fury and a fierce kind of protectiveness in the face of such unforgivably unrighteous actions. Intense sorrow, too, for what it's turned these children into, for making them lash out at the world in their hurt and anger and despair.

He understands all too well what it feels like to be betrayed, though this is far worse than even infidelity or mutiny. He waged war in both cases. How, then, can he condemn these children for attempting the same, when they were betrayed by their own flesh and blood?

He can't, and yet he _must_.

Two wrongs have never made things _right_ , and they've trampled upon innocents in their path. Lancia is only one example of many, he's sure. There should be no question that these three deserve punishment for their crimes- and yet, why does he hesitate? Why can he not view them the same as his enemies across many a battlefield and be done with it?

"I don't want to," Tsuna tells them, and he doesn't, hardly wants to take what family these children have managed to make for themselves even after everything. "But I also can't stand by as you hurt innocent people. As you hurt my friends and family." Tsuna's created his own circle of loved ones, and he's not about to let them take that from him either. "Because with them is where _I_ belong."

(For Arthur and Tsuna, this will always be true.)

Ken and Chikusa stare at him, taken aback but also not willing to give in.

Whatever they might have said in response is overshadowed by new arrivals. They're wearing shabby suits and top hats, and parts of them, including their faces, are covered in bandages. Not only that, but seeing as even Reborn has grown tense at their arrival, Tsuna is willing to bet that menacing aura and those ominous chains are not just for show.

One of them raises a hand, and wordlessly, chains launch out and attach themselves to Mukuro, Ken, and Chikusa.

Instincts screaming at him, Tsuna levels his sword at them, ready to attack or defend - to help Mukuro and co. despite his reservations. Something about those three men(?) is utterly unnatural, and it sets his teeth on edge.

" _Tsuna_ ," Reborn barks, worried in a way Tsuna's never heard before. "Stand down."

The corners of his lips turn down, harshly. "But-"

His tutor shakes his head. "They're the Vindice. They enforce Mafia laws and punish those beyond the reach of criminal law," he explains.

Almost as if on cue, the one who chained them begins to drag them away.

"What are you doing?" Tsuna demands, not lowering his sword, uneasy in a way he can't really explain. "They're just children! Hey-!"

"Tsuna, stop," Reborn orders again, steel lining his tone. "It's not wise to defy the Vindice. This is the law."

Gripping the hilt of his sword so hard his knuckles turn white, Tsuna asks, "What will happen to them? And Lancia?"

"They'll be tried for their crimes and punished," he says, lowering his head and shadowing his expression. "They won't be getting off easy. Because the world we live in isn't so easy."

 _This is what you're trying to change_ , he doesn't say. _That won't be easy either._

What follows is a stilted silence, heavy and unhappy.

For Tsuna, such a thing is unacceptable. Giving up or giving in? Just allowing those in power to abuse it, allowing them to commit injustice, to not use their considerable connections to do some _good_ , to not aid those in need and instead commit atrocities, to be forced into such a position where doing so seems like the only way to survive? He'd never forgive himself if he allowed this to continue, not when it's in his power to stop it.

"It's not," Tsuna agrees, quietly, helplessly. "It's not, and it may never be. But this is why I can't give up. This is why I will change Vongola and make it so something like what the Estraneo did can never happen again," he swears, meaning it as intensely, as fiercely as he had the day he pulled Caliburn from that stone and swore to protect the people under his rule. "This, I promise you."

Underneath the brim of his hat, despite the somber air, Reborn smirks, entirely satisfied. "I expect nothing less from my student." He meets Tsuna's burning stare and says, "But you've still got a long way to go, Goody-Two Shoes Tsuna."

**IV.**

Mukuro and his friends are long gone, taken by those masked enforcers even Reborn had been leery of provoking. The fight is long over, and he and his friends have been patched up and carted off with Vongola medics. His armor has long transformed back into an unsuspecting jacket and his weapon, gone back to the pocket dimension in which it usually resides, ever waiting.

It's done. There's nothing to fret over until the next inevitable confrontation - because he chose a life rife with perils and danger and wouldn't choose any differently, given half a chance - and nothing he can do save return to life as normal.

That's what he _should_ be doing, at any rate, what Tsuna desperately wishes he could do. Anything, _anything_ but this-

This cloying, all-consuming grief, this regret, this self-recrimination, this anger, this hurt, this gaping, unfillable void in his chest where countless losses and heart wounds have carved out an ever-lasting reminder of his failures, of his shortcomings, a piece of his heart and soul missing, like so much dust in the wind, like everything and everyone he's ever cared about.

He's Arthur, and he's Tsuna, and he should only be one, but he's _both_ , and he can hardly bear the heartache and weary, unending exhaustion in his very bones. Can hardly bear Arthur's mistakes and the blood on his hands and the 'what if's and 'should have's and 'if only's. Can hardly bear the weight of Arthur's sorrow and mourning for a life cut short and a world disappeared- because here, King Arthur and his loved ones are only fairy tales, even though the life they lived was oh so very real.

Tsuna has dreamed about Arthur's life for years - too vivid, too detailed but just dreams, _they were just dreams_ \- but until his fight with Mukuro, until something- some seal, some lock he was unaware existed was _un_ locked, unleashed, _he_ had no idea they were real, that they were anything more than the product of his own overactive imagination, that he's technically not alone inside his own mind and body, but now-

Tsuna is only fourteen, and Arthur was only twenty-four when he died, when he was dealt a fatal blow by the daughter he cannot bring himself to claim even now- and it's too much, for him, for both of them, this abrupt end and equally as unwanted new beginning.

Thing is, there's no difference between them, except the years and experiences and loved ones, though there's space in Arthur's heart for Tsuna's fledgling family, just as Arthur's has been burned into Tsuna's memory and heart and soul. There's no real difference in ideals and temperament, in appearance, even his thought process, and somehow that's _worse_ \- because Tsuna cannot make the same mistakes again. He can bear no more loss, can hardly breathe at just the thought-

Arthur is tired. He had his chance. He ruled, he fulfilled the prophecy, and there was peace, if only for a short while. Of course the prophecy never mentioned what would become of that peace afterward, of how long it would last, of how brittle it would be, and Arthur wants to rage and despair at the unfairness of it all, but he won't. But he can't.

He knows he can't claim full responsibility for Camelot's downfall - he's not so arrogant as to believe himself the center of the universe, the linchpin on which everything hinges - but he was a major contributor, but it was he who spurned Mordred and no doubt helped Morgana's plans along quite nicely (until they killed each other.)

It was he who- who didn't spare Gwen enough attention, always too busy as king and knight and never comfortably fitting the role of loving husband, though he did truly love his wife. He was a fighter and a leader first and foremost, and he never thought to wonder what it must have felt like for Gwen to wait at the castle alone for months at a time, to wait and worry and wonder whether this time he would face a challenge he could not overcome, whether the next glimpse of him would be his corpse or else a dreaded impersonal letter, to then have her husband come home and bury himself in work rather than spend any significant amount of time with her.

What must it have looked like to her, to his people, to his friends when he neglected to care for her, to properly soothe her worries, to make her laugh, to romance her more than the once when he sought to win her hand, to tell her he loved her and to show it in his actions rather than words that must have rung false?

(Surely, surely, Gwen knew, but-)

He didn't notice Gwen's loneliness, nor her troubles. He didn't, and Lancelot _did._ Perhaps, that is all it took. Perhaps, that is all it has ever taken. A little time, a little care, small gestures and sincere effort. Some reassurance, some way to show Gwen he never doubted their love, some way to convince her so that she would never have doubted his-

It matters little, in the end. Gwen made her choice, and Lancelot made his, and Arthur- He did the only thing he could do, under the circumstances.

Nothing less than execution for her infidelity, the standard punishment for such a crime and one he could not have waved away. A fair king doesn't break his own laws, even for his loved ones, or he is no fair king at all.

Even so, he did not relish it, did not wish for either of their deaths, and certainly not by his hand.

 _Even so,_ it was a blow, a betrayal, that of both a close friend and his life partner, a pain he felt keenly and that throbs terribly, hatefully even now, his emotional turmoil, this sudden resurgence of life summoning thoughts he'd had plenty of time to ponder on his way to wage war against Lancelot and the trip home where he discovered another betrayal at the hands of Mordred -

Had she ever loved him? Had Lancelot ever cared for him, truly? Gwen was his wife and Lancelot a trusted friend, a knight under his command, his _best_ knight. Had they no care for him at all to break his trust so, to wound him more deeply than even Clarent's fatal strike?

What kind of king, of husband, of friend- what kind of person must he be, must he _have been_ to be on the end of such unrepentant, unrelenting treachery? Because Lancelot and Guinevere regretted the hurt they caused him, there at the end, but they did not regret the deception, the disloyalty itself. Perhaps because doing so would have meant regretting their love.

Arthur does not regret marrying Gwen, nor does he regret recruiting Lancelot, even with all the pain and death that came after. Did they?

He doesn't know, won't ever know because they're either dead or a world and a lifetime away, and here- Arthur remains.

Arthur remains, but-

He has never wished for death, has never wanted to die and leave behind those he cares for, his kingdom nor his friends nor his duty, has always fought hard to live and battle on with strength and unwavering determination.

But on that bloody battlefield, as he watched Mordred die before him, as his comrades and ex-comrades fell all around him, as he struggled for each breath of his own, as he stared down at his trembling hands covered in his own blood, in Mordred's, the blood of every man on that field, as he wept, silently, despairingly-

He wanted nothing more than to be done with it, to join his fallen comrades and parents in the uncaring earth, to be free and unburdened for the first time in his life. Because the dead carry no responsibilities, because dead he could not drag his men, his kingdom down with him. He could no more affect destiny than a pebble on the ground.

Only his memory could be betrayed then, and what do the dead care for the actions of those in the world of the living?

He's tired, so tired of being alive, but Tsuna has only just begun to live. But Tsuna has his own larger than life ambitions, and what does Arthur's exhaustion matter in the face of this new life, this new love and hope and dream?

Arthur forgave Gwen and Lancelot for their betrayal. He regrets that his own actions led to Mordred's. He mourns the chaos and inevitable deaths of innocents that must have proceeded the end of his reign. Even so, upon his final breath, he was at peace with his demons. He was prepared to leave it all behind.

Maybe... Maybe Tsuna can work with that. Reborn is not Ector. Iemitsu is not Uther, nor Nana Igraine. Dino is not Kay, and Kyoya and his other friends are no Knights of the Round Table.

The Vongola is not a kingdom, and Tsuna is no child of prophecy. Tsuna is not destined to be king, and his desire to change Vongola is fully his own, a duty he's taken upon himself because he wants to, because it's the right thing to do, because no one else will.

Similar, yes, but not the same. And maybe that's enough.

Arthur wouldn't go back and change anything, even if he could- because it would be trampling upon the bravery, the determination, and the honor of his comrades, would be spitting upon the memories of all those who fought and bled and died for him. For all his regrets and sorrows, he would change nothing.

And this, this is not a second chance. It's not retreading old ground, nor making up for the past. It's a new path, a whole world of possibilities, and would not his comrades want him to pick himself up, dust himself off, and try again?

He knows they would, knows it dearly. Not even for the women and children he will strive to aid, not because it's the right thing to do, but because they wouldn't want him to stew in his grief. Bedivere, Percival, dear Gawain- all of his knights, his friends, would want him to keep moving forward, no matter what. Just as he hopes they lived long and well after his own demise, that the civil war and Camelot's fall did not break them.

He doesn't know if this weariness will ever fade, knows not if Arthur's great sorrow will diminish over time. The only thing he can do now is endure. The only thing he knows for sure is that the greatest betrayal of all would be throwing away his ideals, his comrade's ideals, and giving into the fatigue pressing down on him from all sides.

He's Tsuna, and he's Arthur, and he's going to be alright. He'll drag himself up from the ashes of his own tragedy and make it so. With the memories of his loved ones tucked inside his chest, the weight of expectation on his back, and the bright future ahead, he can do nothing less.

**V.**

Tsuna has been one surprise after another, from their very first meeting up to his first serious battle against Rokudo Mukuro.

It's not that Iemitsu's intel was wrong. Tsuna _is_ bright and friendly and kind, and going into the bloody world of the Mafia with that kind of personality could only end badly. He can understand Iemitsu's concerns - if that were all Tsuna is.

It's not, though. Tsuna has a backbone. He just chooses diplomacy as his first course of action, would rather communicate and solve things peacefully before resorting to violence, and that's also a good way to get killed - if one isn't prepared to fight back or even take the first shot when diplomacy doesn't work.

Tsuna is unafraid of fighting, has in fact been throwing himself into fights far above his level and coming out on top for years, and he has an excellent grasp on when talking just isn't going to cut it. His Hyper Intuition, Reborn would bet. Likely honed over the course of Tsuna's self-appointed duty as Namimori's _other_ protector.

Iemitsu had also described Tsuna as having a fondness for swords. He made it sound like it was a hobby, given the same attention as any other child would a video game or instrument. And that's not necessarily wrong either. It's just a massive understatement.

Tsuna is enamored with swords and sword fighting of any kind. He's been trained in kendo since he was five years old, and at fourteen, he's bested every upperclassmen in his club as well as in the high school and has even surpassed his sensei. He's nowhere near a fully trained swordsman in skill, of course. He has a long way to go, still. He wouldn't last long against Squalo of the Varia at the top of his game, for example, but- that's the thing.

Reborn has jumped straight to comparing Tsuna against the most skilled swordsman he knows, a testament to his own skill and discipline but also entirely unexpected of a civilian child.

(Yamamoto has just as much potential, if not more so, but he's still firmly pretending the Mafia is a game and not taking his training seriously. He has faith Yamamoto will truly understand eventually, and when he does, Tsuna's going to be thrilled to have a proper sparring partner.

'Proper' because Hibari doesn't wield a sword, so according to Tsuna and to Hibari's visible irritation, he doesn't count.)

The file clearly stated Tsuna would likely reject Reborn's training outright, that he wouldn't easily accept being a Mafia boss because of his long-held dream of being a hero.

Not only did Tsuna not bat an eye at the revelation of his heritage and his sudden appointment as heir, but he didn't immediately shoot down the idea either. Instead, he asked questions - insightful questions which led to Reborn revealing more than he'd initially intended to. Not more than he _wanted_ to, but there's no one alive who make him reveal anything he doesn't want them to know.

He only capitulated because the information would have been covered in his lessons anyway and because he was reluctantly impressed by Tsuna's calm demeanor, by his gathering information before making a decision the way Reborn has rarely seen children his age do. Hell, even some adults he knows still have trouble doing so. A certain useless lackey comes to mind, though whether he's actually an adult is questionable.

Plus, he had a hunch. When he carefully steered the conversation towards Vongola's inception, he knew he'd made the right choice. As soon as Tsuna found out about Vongola Primo and his original, noble intentions for Vongola to protect the weak and defenseless, he swore right then and there that he'd change Vongola and revert it back to its original purpose - without Reborn having to nudge him towards that resolution at all.

Another concern of Iemitsu's was that Tsuna doesn't have a lot of friends and that his leadership skills would need work.

It's easy to deduce from simply watching Tsuna attend school that his close friends numbering a small few is not for lack of trying - on the other kids' parts. Tsuna is well known and well liked by most of the student body, and it's not just because he routinely defends them from Hibari Kyoya for minor offenses, such as being late once or twice or even in some cases, breathing too loudly.

He's just naturally likeable, even with his flames - and subsequently, ability to harmonize - locked away. Even Reborn is hard pressed not to like him, though he'd never admit it to anyone, much less Tsuna himself.

(He's never once talked down to Reborn or treated him like an actual two year old. After so long, Reborn has gotten used to the casual dismissal and disrespect, and though he always makes sure to repay the slight tenfold, it's still grating.

Tsuna won his grudging approval during their first interaction, and it's annoying how hardly anything has made him think less of his ridiculously hard to hate student since.)

The close friends he has made are all Guardian material, which is to be expected. Other flame types are always drawn to Skies, active flames or no, and with Tsuna's peculiar penchant for vigilantism, it makes sense his possible Guardians would consciously or unconsciously begin to train and work harder to protect him.

As for leadership, even the Hibari follows Tsuna's lead for some things. Tsuna is a natural at commanding others and making people want to follow him. Sky Flames by themselves aren't enough to inspire devotion or loyalty, and though it can be honed and focused better, Tsuna's ability to lead is already approaching acceptable by his own standards.

Frankly, Iemitsu's assessment is obviously influenced heavily by his own preconceptions as Tsuna's father, which is certainly something Reborn made sure to point out scathingly in his own report to the Ninth. Vongola's Head of Intelligence turning into a gushing, overprotective mess of a person at just the mention of his son is a glaring weakness - and unbearable to witness - after all.

Nonetheless, he's not... disappointed by Tsuna exceeding expectations. He's miles above klutzy Dino at this stage, which is not exactly a shining achievement, but notable. Tsuna doesn't complain, and he doesn't back down, not even against Reborn when he feels it's important. He's unafraid of Reborn - which is annoying - but he's also not overconfident.

He listens and learns and grows every day. He's a model student. There's technically nothing at all wrong with Tsuna.

Nothing he could add to a report anyway.

There's just- moments, few and far between, but they happen often enough that it's undoubtedly part of a pattern.

He seems surprised sometimes at the weight and feel of his sword, as if he expects it to be a different one, even though Tsuna has trained with the same sword for years.

He's utterly convinced children shouldn't be involved in conflict (though he's seemed to make an exception for his friends) as if Tsuna himself isn't a child.

He has trouble sleeping, plagued with nightmares of bloody battles and dreams of tragedy and heartbreak, as if Tsuna is reliving memories and not just conjuring these scenarios in his sleep.

He sometimes begins to tell a story and then a few words in just- stops, apparently confused and then forgets what he was saying entirely, almost as if he's blocked out certain memories and doesn't even realize it.

Among other things, Tsuna is uncommonly mature for his age. He's uncommonly good with a sword. He's uncommonly practiced at leading people. He's uncommonly good at diplomacy.

He's uncommonly experienced in all the areas that would make him a good boss, and combined with those odd moments above, it's more than a little suspicious. So even as Reborn grows to reluctantly like his stupidly noble student, he doesn't really trust the brat either, always watching for- something, some slip up or tell.

When Tsuna's sword is destroyed by Mukuro, and Leon's weapon(?) fails to react to Tsuna's Dying Will, when it seems like Tsuna's about to give in for good and let Mukuro win, suddenly his flames erupt, like a wild fire that's no longer able to be contained-

And something changes, something intimate to Tsuna as a _person_ , not just Nono's seal breaking but something else-

Tsuna wakes, and when he stands, when he speaks, the aura he gives off is most easily compared to that of a seasoned boss, an experienced fighter. His student is neither. It's his job to turn Tsuna _into_ those things.

As the fight takes a sharp turn in Tsuna's favor, as he summons armor and an invisible weapon like Reborn's never seen before, he can only speculate what led to this and whether it has anything to do with all Tsuna's little incongruences until now.

His gut is telling him that Tsuna knows exactly what's going on, and Reborn is going to make sure Tsuna explains - and that he discovers what happens when he keeps secrets from his tutor, who also happens to be the world's greatest hitman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'm borrowing the Mordred from Fate/Apocrypha (the only Fate anime I've watched, but it was only like 2 episodes) for Arthur/Tsuna's past life, so that's why she's a woman. I just really liked her.
> 
> \- Also borrowing Fate's Excalibur, which is cloaked in wind to make it invisible, hence the invisible sword.
> 
> \- Some of you were worried about Tsuna being a Gary Stu/OP. As you can see, Tsuna is well liked, a good fighter, etc, but he's not perfect, and neither was Arthur. It will become more apparent as the story continues. Things won't be easy just because he's got Arthur's skill and experience now.
> 
> If it seemed like it with Mukuro, that's just because we skipped to the end of the fight, when both Tsuna and Mukuro are tired and worn out, but Mukuro has the upper hand- until Tsuna gets his second wind with Hyper Dying Will mode and unlocks Arthur in the same moment. Surprise played a big part in his victory too. Basically the same as with canon!Tsuna.
> 
> And well, Reborn at least has been on to him from the beginning.
> 
> On the other hand, this is a very self-indulgent fic, and I am going to do what I want. I'm more interested in characters than battles and stuff, and I'm a sucker for fluff and friendship and happy endings, which is obvious if you've read my other fics. So just keep that in mind! If you're not into that, I understand, and you don't have to read.
> 
> \- I have ideas for where this could go but nothing solid. If you have suggestions for plot or even something minor, I'd love to hear it! If I use your idea, I will credit you.
> 
> Let me know what you think! ;)


	3. far, far away from fears and shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments! You guys are the reason I'm not yet agonizing over chapters that are double the length of my usual chapters. ;)

**I.**

Her brother is like the sun. He's so bright and energetic, and he never fails to make everything else, the whole world feel brighter just by existing. He's so kind and so caring and so gentle.

Ryohei is amazing, and though he can be too loud sometimes, though he doesn't always listen, he's quiet and a good listener when he needs to be, when it counts.

He's _always_ a good big brother, but he's especially so when he sets aside absolutely everything when she's in trouble, when she needs someone to vent to or bounce ideas off of, when she needs a warm, all-compassing hug, or when she needs to hear something that no one else will tell her.

Her brother is always dependable, always steady. Always _there_. For a time, she even believes he's invincible, that nothing and no one could take his light, his sunny smile away. Because why would anyone ever try?

Then, he's attacked and injured right in front of her, because of her, while she watches, helpless, desperate, terrified. He's hurt, and she can't make it stop or make it better, can't do _anything-_

(Is there anything worse? Could anything be worse than watching a loved one suffer and being unable to help? Kyoko doesn't know, and she never wants to find out.

She was only a small child back then, one who had never gotten into a fight in her life, and with the distance of time and perspective, she knows she can hardly blame herself for her inaction. Even if she had tried to attack one of the older kids, she would undoubtedly have gotten hurt herself, and everything Ryohei did to protect her would have been for nothing.

She didn't know that then, and she wouldn't have believed it either because-)

Suddenly, the boy holding her back lets go and falls to the ground in an unconscious heap. She stares at him, uncomprehending through her snot and tears, too overwhelmed to realize what's happened.

"...It's not noble to sneak up on your opponent, but then again, it's also ignoble to gang up on and attack a child," a boy she doesn't recognize says aloud, though who he's talking to, she doesn't know. He's holding a... shinai(?), and his face is radiating disapproval as he looks at the three older boys - like she's seen many a teacher look at Ryohei when he's being too rowdy.

Only, this look is unmistakably _for_ Ryohei, aimed at the older boys _on his behalf_ , and inexplicably, Kyoko feels a small stirring of hope.

"Yuta!" One of their tormentors yells, catching sight of his unconscious friend and taking a step away from Ryohei, who is still curled up on the ground and in pain. "You fuckin' brat! I'll get you back for that!" He threatens, sneering.

The boy who helped her grows even more disapproving- and somehow disappointed too. "You can try," is all he says, though it's clear he wants to say more. He glances furtively at her brother, who isn't moving or making any noise-!

"Oho, I'm gonna enjoy this," the same bully says, as his other two friends finally leave Ryohei alone and circle around to stand beside him. "You're gonna regret playin' hero, kid."

"Never. But I'll make you regret the pain you've caused," he promises, expression hardening as he slips into what must be a fighting stance, shinai at the ready.

As Kyoko watches the ensuing, impossibly swift fight, awestruck, worried, and frightened, the boy more than keeps his promise. It's over in less than a minute, with the boy around her age the clear winner- and Kyoko has never been more _angry._

She doesn't have time to dwell on it in the panic of checking on Ryohei and running alongside the boy - Tsuna, he introduces himself - to the hospital, thankfully not that far away from the park where they were ambushed. She's too worried and upset and crying inconsolably as she explains the situation to her parents, as they wait for news about Ryohei.

She only gets some peace of mind when Ryohei's minor - nothing about them was minor, but she couldn't bring herself to correct the doctor - wounds are seen to, and she's allowed to sit quietly by Ryohei's bedside as he sleeps off the painkillers.

In the ominous silence of the hospital room - the usual noises of the building having faded into the background - she has time to think, entirely too much time.

Kyoko hates fighting. People get hurt no matter what, and there never seems to be any real point to it. She's always thought it was a dumb boy thing ( _"Good girls don't fight, Kyoko"_ ) because she's never seen the appeal. Just why do people - and not just mean people, like the boys from earlier - like it so much?

She's never been as scared as she was today. She's never seen anyone be so needlessly cruel, and she's never seen anyone hurt quite so badly before - much less her big brother, who should never have to feel such pain, who should never have been targeted in the first place!

This, today- it's only more proof that fighting is awful, that no good can come from it. What if it's worse next time? What if Ryohei gets attacked again by more people, people even crueler? What if there's no savior to dash in and save him, no one to protect him at all?

She doesn't want to think about it, _can't_ think about it, or she'll burst into tears again, and she's already rubbed her cheeks raw getting rid of the last ones.

The only thing left to do, the only thing she _can_ do is try to convince Ryohei to stop fighting, so he won't get hurt anymore. He has a hard time saying no to her normally, but once he sees just how shaken she is, she knows he'll agree. He's sweet that way, far too sweet to be injured to the point of needing a hospital.

She resolves herself to do just that, but-

( _"Why did you help us?"_ )

But-

 _("Why wouldn't I?"_ )

She clenches the fabric of her skirt between her fingers, gripping tightly, too tightly.

That boy. Tsuna. He's the same age as her and nearly the same size. He's small and short and young, just like her, and yet- he was able to take out four middle schoolers all by himself. He did it alone, and it was _easy._

He was able to protect Ryohei and did so with no hesitation. He was able to do what she couldn't, what not even Ryohei could, and- it makes her angry. Furious. Not at Tsuna, not at Ryohei, but at herself, at the whole situation.

She should have been able to help. It doesn't matter that she doesn't know how to fight, that she's never bothered to learn. Ryohei's her brother, and instead of helping him, she stood around and cried and hoped someone would save them. It doesn't even matter that someone did.

 _What if, what if, what if-_ Her thoughts are circling uselessly, trying to cope with everything, trying to make sense of her own emotions, of this painful feeling in her chest, burning her up, lighting a fire inside her. _What if_ , a whisper of a thought, but she catches it and holds onto it, looks it over and wonders about this idea she's never before considered, but-

Things are different now. Kyoko is different. This experience has changed her irrevocably, has opened her eyes up to a new possibility, a new path, a new Kyoko.

( _"Why do you fight?"_ )

She doesn't know whether it's good or bad, whether it's the right thing to do, whether it will turn out well or make things worse, but-

( _"Because there are things I want to protect."_ )

Tsuna looks small and weak, like Kyoko. Tsuna is young, too young to be fighting, like Kyoko. Tsuna has things he wants to protect, like Kyoko.

Tsuna is able to protect those things, so why then isn't Kyoko? What's so different about them that Tsuna can pick up a sword and fight but Kyoko can only fill the role of useless bystander or damsel in distress?

Always before Kyoko has looked at girls in movies and cartoons and books, at princesses and love interests and damsels, and has looked up to them, wanted to be them, these beautiful women, pretty dresses and handsome saviors and all.

But...

Right now, those girls don't seem glamorous or happy. They seem uncomfortably unsafe and _un_ happy, always being saved (always helpless) and never doing the saving (never able to.) Kyoko has never felt more like those women, has never understood so viscerally how they must feel, and it's not as fun as she thought it would be. It's scary, and it hurts, and she's glad Tsuna saved them, but it's only made her think, viciously, burningly that she doesn't _want_ to be saved.

She wants to do the saving.

Kyoko still doesn't want to hurt people, but- But even more than that, she doesn't want the people she loves to _be_ hurt. Even if it means hurting people, if she can help, if she can prevent it entirely, well-

Put like that, learning how to fight just might be the easiest decision she's ever made.

"Please don't fight," she doesn't say later, once Ryohei has awoken, not this time. It's a small voice in her head, stamped out vigorously by the much bigger part of her that's been locked away for so long. She's already paid her due for obediently listening to it all this while. Ryohei's blood and pain, her own terror and helplessness- It's far too heavy a price and one she's not willing to pay again.

"Good girls don't fight," her mother has said for years, and is it any wonder that small voice sounds like her? Is it any wonder Kyoko takes pleasure in stamping it out? If good girls don't fight even for good reasons, then Kyoko has never wanted to be a good girl _less_.

"Sounds good to me," Tsuna says, no doubt coloring his voice, no disapproval in his eyes, and she doesn't need his approval for this, would have gone through with it anyway because she's made her mind up, and nothing and no one will stop her now. She doesn't need it, but she's glad to have it. Because here is a kid like her who is strong and sure of himself, and while Kyoko has the latter down pat, she needs help with the former, and speaking to Tsuna makes talking to Ryohei easier, somehow.

"Please teach me how to fight," she asks of her brother, and she knows it's clear in her eyes, in every line of her body that if he says no, she'll find some other way. She doesn't need Ryohei's approval either, but his opinion of her is far more valuable for the simple fact that Ryohei has never once judged her or looked down on her for any of her choices, has always, always supported her in absolutely everything, and she doesn't want to lose that unconditional love and support.

But protecting him and their family and herself is more important than even Ryohei's disapproval, and that same resolution of hers is why she now knows Ryohei would have never followed through with his promise to her were she to demand it of him. He would have broken it in a heartbeat if she or anyone else were in trouble, and he was able to help. For that reason alone, she's not surprised when Ryohei agrees.

"I'll make you an extremely strong boxer!" Ryohei says, and beneath the cheer and enthusiasm and wild gestures, she can see that understanding clear as day. He won't be a road block or dissuade her despite his worry, has instead chosen to make her strong enough that he doesn't have to worry, fully intends to be a pillar of support against their parents who are certain to object. She can read it in his face just as clearly as he read her intentions, and-

She smiles, watery, gratefully, unable to find words strong enough for the love and gratitude she feels, and Ryohei beams at her with his sunny, dazzling grin, a bright spot in a comparatively dull world, understanding as always what isn't spoken, and she thinks again, for the hundredth time, the millionth, over and over again that she really does have the best big brother in the whole wide world.

(Once she learns how, she might even be tempted to fight anyone who tries to disagree with her.)

**II.**

"Need anything, Kyoko? Water? Pudding? Manga? Do I need to adjust your pillows? Or your bed? Are you feeling any pain? Want me to change the channel?" Ryohei asks loudly, each question coming out rapidly with little to no time to respond in between, a clear sign of his concern.

As if his constant hovering doesn't give it away.

"Nii-san, you're becoming a worrywart," Kyoko teases, though it's not really a complaint. She'd been downright furious when she'd been in his position a few days ago. That fury had sustained her all throughout her fight against that boy who could take on the characteristics of different animals, the one she'd called dibs on after finding out he was the one who'd attacked her brother.

Yamamoto had cheerfully ignored her and proceeded to help defeat him anyway.

"Senpai's helped me out a lot, so I feel like I should repay him," he'd said, ever present smile offset by his narrowed, angry eyes. "Besides, games are more fun with more people, right?"

She'd subsided in the end because he actually meant it. A few months ago, Yamamoto inserted himself into their lives so naturally it's almost as if he's always been there, pulled helplessly along by Tsuna's kindness and charm much like the rest of them. Regardless of how long it's actually been, though, he's _theirs_ now. So once Ryohei found out about Yamamoto being pressured by not only the other players but the _coaches_ on his team to do better, to train far past his limits, to the point where it was only a matter of time before he injured himself or worse, well-

None of them were happy about it, but it was Ryohei who lectured the team and the coaches, threatened to report them if they didn't cut it out, and then took it upon himself to drop by team practice at random a few times a week to make sure they were keeping their word. On top of that, he also supervises Yamamoto's solo training whenever he wants to stay behind and work on something for a little longer.

At first, Yamamoto was bewildered but grateful, uncertain how to handle such blunt, obvious concern or the lengths Ryohei would go to just for him, but he eventually grew to accept it, and now he and her brother trading tips, Ryohei watching Yamamoto on the baseball field, and Yamamoto stopping by during club hours are common sights.

Unfortunately, sometimes he still looks around at them like he can't quite believe they're there and enjoying being with him, as if he's not a good friend that would have to pried from her cold, dead hands, as if he's not loved and wanted and treasured. He's pretty silly, isn't he?

Speaking of silly...

"Kyoko! I extremely don't want to hear that from you! You dislocated your shoulder!" He shouts, so indignant it's adorable. "And you were bleeding everywhere!"

She carefully hides her amusement, aware it wouldn't be appreciated and that Ryohei has every right to be so worried. "It's not that bad," she tries and then swiftly changes tracks when Ryohei looks incredulous. "It was worth it, and besides, it's all going to heal."

"Not the scratches," Ryohei says, frowning, and she would hug him if she could move without feeling like she's dying. She would do it anyway, but then Ryohei get even more frazzled. "Suzumi-san said most of them will scar."

Kyoko smiles, running her fingers over the two jagged scars on the right side of her face, beginning just below her cheekbone and ending a little under her jaw. They're concealed beneath a bandage right now, but she remembers the size and feel of them well enough.

The nurse had tutted in disappointment. "Oh no, they'll ruin your pretty face," she'd said, and much like now, Kyoko could only smile in the face of a sentiment that couldn't be more wrong.

"I got these scars helping Tsuna and making sure the boy who hurt you couldn't hurt anyone else," she says, an electric spark thrumming through her at the memory of the battle, satisfaction settling snugly in her stomach at the reminder of her victory. "They're physical proof I'm not the same little girl who couldn't do anything while you were being hurt right in front of me. I'm _proud_ of them," she tells him, eyes straying to the long healed scar bisecting her brother's eyebrow. "Just like my big bro, ne?"

Subconsciously, his hand seeks out the scar on his own face, and after a pensive moment, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but he's finally smiling again.

"I know this is gonna sound weird coming from me," he says wryly, "but there are limits when it comes to imitating your big bro, Kyoko."

She laughs, and he joins her. "Nii-chan's become self-aware! We mustn't let Gokudera-kun find about this! He'll faint!"

"That's extremely mean, Kyoko!" Ryohei complains, crossing his arms. "That octopus head wouldn't know self-awareness if it punched him in the face."

"I can _hear_ you, Turf Top!" Gokudera yells irritably from two beds over. "Don't think just because I'm injured, I can't blow you up!" He threatens, pulling out dynamite from seemingly nowhere.

Yamamoto laughs in the bed across from him. "Maa, maa, let's take it easy, guys. Tsuna's still sleeping," he says, and as one, they all look across the hall at Tsuna's room, door firmly closed and occupant silent.

Kyoko bites her lip, concerned. Even if Tsuna has woken up - she wouldn't be surprised if he had; they aren't exactly quiet even a room away - he hasn't even glanced out at them or tried to check on any of them like she knows he would normally, wounded or not, and it's worrying.

After her fight with that boy, she and Yamamoto went to help Tsuna only for Rokudo to possess them and use their bodies to fight him, and it was terrible not being able to control her own body, being forced to hurt her friend, but Tsuna had to fight all of his friends _alone_ while trying not to hurt them too badly, which was undoubtedly much worse. Add to that his injuries and exhaustion, and Kyoko desperately wants to make sure he's okay physically and emotionally.

"Tch. You're lucky Jyuudaime's here," Gokudera tells them, grudgingly putting away his dynamite.

Ryohei scowls, waving around one of his crutches. "I'm extremely willing to fight you once you're healed, Tako Head!"

"Bring it on! I'll blow you to bits! They won't even be able to identify your remains!" Gokudera threatens.

"Hey, can I join? It sounds like fun," Yamamoto asks.

Predictably, Gokudera immediately snaps, "No! Stop butting in where you're not wanted, baseball freak!"

"I'm okay with it! We can have an extreme brawl!" Ryohei declares, grinning.

Yamamoto favors him with his own grin. "Haha, thanks, Senpai."

Apparently fed up, Gokudera growls, "I'll kick both your asses!"

"Oi! Stop yelling! Sawada's extremely unwell!" Ryohei yells, frowning sternly.

Gokudera could not look more enraged or indignant if he tried. "You're yelling the most!" He also yells.

Yamamoto shares an amused look with Kyoko, supremely entertained. "You guys are hilarious. Like a comedy act."

"I'm not joking, Yamamoto! Gokudera's being extremely disruptive! We're in a hospital, you know?" Ryohei points out, loudly.

Apoplectic, Gokudera shouts, "YOU! YOU'RE ONE TO TALK, YOU-! YOU-!" Unable to articulate his rage, he lets out a frustrated yell, looking quite close to attacking Ryohei no matter the consequences.

"Me?" Ryohei asks, pointing at himself, bewildered. "Speak up! I can't understand you!"

"THAT'S IT."

As she struggles to hold in her laughter and fails horribly, Kyoko feels some of her worry dissipate. Watching her brother and her friends argue over the silliest things is something which never fails to be entertaining. The fact that Ryohei does it on purpose because it never fails to make her laugh- Maybe it makes her a bad person, but she can't bring herself to ask him to stop. She finds it terribly sweet, honestly, and she can only hope that Gokudera doesn't develop ulcers one day because of it.

Unfortunately, her worry skyrockets again when the door they'd all taken to glancing at is thrown open and reveals Hibari glaring him at them in obvious irritation, forcing all of them to freeze in their tracks and stare at him.

"I'm going to bite to death anyone who disturbs my sleep," he promises, still somehow intimidating even in black pajamas.

Ryohei demands, "Hibari! Why are you here? I thought Sawada was over there! I'm extremely confused!"

Hibari glances at him in clear disinterest. "...He left with that baby a while ago," he reveals, surprisingly. Then again, he's hardly going to get any peace and quiet ignoring her brother, much less _Gokudera_ when it comes to information regarding Tsuna.

"Thank you, Hibari-kun," Kyoko says, smiling gratefully. "We'll try not to interrupt your sleep."

He gives her a long look, not quite dubious but close, and then wordlessly turns back around, shutting the door behind him.

Almost immediately after, Gokudera says, much more quietly than before, worry warring with annoyance on his face, "Jyuudaime left, and I didn't even notice! Ugh! It's all because of you idiots distracting me!"

"He's more banged up than the rest of us. Should he really be out of bed?" Kyoko asks. She hasn't seen him in person yet, but from what little she recalls of when she was possessed, he didn't look too good.

"I'm sure he's okay, Kyoko. I don't think Reborn would make Tsuna do anything he couldn't handle," Yamamoto reassures her.

Gokudera clicks his tongue. "As much as I hate to agree with the baseball freak, he's right. Reborn-san wouldn't do anything that might hinder Jyuudaime's recovery."

"He's probably just telling Sawada about some new super secret training!" Ryohei says, looking excited by the prospect. "I'm extremely curious about it too! Sawada's training is always super extreme! Hey, Kyoko, do you think Shishou will let us do it too?"

Smiling helplessly, warmed by their attempts to make her feel better, Kyoko responds, "I'm sure Reborn-san won't mind."

As she says it, she hopes it's true - both the training and that they'll be able to participate in it. She's been rapidly improving since Reborn came into their lives with a literal bang, and she knows she's not the only one. He's always welcomed them into Tsuna's training before, always challenged them to be better with a smirk and cocky quip, and they've always risen to that challenge, risen up and over it again and again, and continuously found new heights and new limits.

The Kyoko of just half a year ago wouldn't have lasted long against that boy even with Yamamoto's help, much less defeated him, and she can't help but wonder, giddy with excitement of her own, just how much stronger she can get in just another few months, in a year, two years.

She doesn't know, not yet, and she can't wait to find out.

**III.**

"Start talking," Reborn orders, cocking his gun and aiming it squarely at Tsuna not moments after they enter an empty room. Perhaps for the first time, it's not a empty threat.

Carefully sitting down on the unoccupied bed and setting his crutches aside, Tsuna smiles slightly at the familiar sight, even though everything about this situation is utterly alien. "I'm not sure where to begin," he says.

Reborn narrows his eyes. "What happened when you went into Hyper Dying Will Mode? Start there."

"I'm assuming you mean when I was able to consciously use my flames?" He asks to clarify and then continues at Reborn's impatient nod. "It felt like something inside of me was unlocked, and then- Well, I received memories of my past life."

He _had_ contemplated keeping it a secret, but Reborn would have realized he was lying either right away or eventually. Reborn is too good at spotting lies and Tsuna too terrible at spouting them, and truthfully, Tsuna just doesn't _want_ to lie, not when it has the possibility of straining their relationship or ruining it completely.

Besides, he's far too intimate with secrets and lies and their consequences, and were he to imitate that behavior - with a trusted mentor no less - it would feel uncomfortably like betrayal. Of his ideals, of his morals, of his past self who was perhaps naive but who always held faith in his comrades, even after that faith was tested time and again. On the heels of his own tragedy, he's all too eager to take any chance to avoid the same fate, to avoid such a dark and treacherous path. Thus, the truth.

"...Explain," Reborn orders again, expression unreadable. He's not immediately accusing Tsuna of deceit - not that he'd expected him to - and so Tsuna chooses to take that as a good sign.

"I died, and I suppose I was reincarnated," he says, too nonchalantly for such an impossible feat, but he's already had far too much time to dwell on it already. And he knows Reborn appreciates dithering or digressing about as much as he enjoys Lambo's boasts and threats on his life. "I've dreamt about my past life the entirety of this one, but I didn't suspect my dreams might actually be memories until that moment. It's quite... jarring."

An understatement but true nonetheless.

Reborn doesn't say anything for a long moment, and Tsuna patiently waits for him to collect his thoughts. Such an outrageous claim would stump even the most open-minded of individuals if only for a little while, and he's simply grateful Reborn is still humoring him.

Finally, his tutor speaks. "Who were you?"

In an instant, Tsuna's small smile grows bitter and humorless, and he can tell the abrupt change catches Reborn off guard. Not surprising. Tsuna has never had cause to wear such an expression. "Arthur Pendragon, King of Britain, at your service," he introduces, pulling off a perfect courtly bow, careful of his still healing wounds. "Formerly, anyway."

More silence, weighty and judging, though which way Reborn is leaning - believing or disbelieving - Tsuna doesn't know. He can only hope his trust in their bond has not been misplaced. He has no backup plan if his honesty in this matter were to backfire on him.

"Can you prove it?" Reborn eventually asks, as Tsuna was hoping he would.

Wordlessly, Tsuna holds out a hand and with scarcely a thought calls forth his ever faithful sword. Only this time, he does not automatically sheathe it in Invisible Air and instead allows the sword to be looked upon as it is and has always been, the sight breathtaking and glorious no matter how many times he lays eyes upon it.

Reborn is similarly in awe, though it wars with genuine surprise on his face. "Excalibur," he names it, recognizing it right away as all warriors do. "So it is true," he says, almost a whisper, the doubt in his mind wiped away by such irrefutable proof. Excalibur would never answer the call of any except the only man who was meant to wield it, after all. Anyone familiar with its legend would know that much.

"I'm afraid so," Tsuna agrees, sparing his sword an apologetic look for only calling it forth as proof of his identity rather than for its aid in battle, as it deserves. Excalibur possesses no soul, but it has its own will and is able to communicate to him now that it is simply happy to be of use to him after so long.

For Tsuna, it has barely been a full day since he last truly wielded it ( _and stabbed it through-_ ), but for Excalibur, it must have been far longer. Centuries. Eons. Perhaps, then, it is no mystery why his faithful sword is so eager to be summoned, even for something like this.

Once he's sure Reborn has been thoroughly convinced, he caresses the flat of the blade with his free hand, a silent thank you and apology, and then Excalibur vanishes from sight (but never from his mind) with tiny motes of holy light.

"How did this happen? Are you still Tsuna?" Reborn demands sharply, having regained his composure once Excalibur was no longer here to distract him.

He smiles again, understanding, and tries to find the words to explain. "I don't know how this happened or why. Part of me feels like I only just died, and the rest of me feels like it happened years ago. I've had some time to adjust, however, and for all that I'm still Arthur, I'm Tsuna now. I'm 'me' - just with twenty-four years' worth of extra memories."

He feels both twenty-four and fourteen, feels the weight of those years separately and combined, and it's heavy and confusing as his memories from both lives sort themselves out and put themselves in order.

But in the end, he's still Tsuna. Arthur died, has fallen into legend, and Tsuna's is the only identity that means anything anymore. Selfishly, it's the only identity he wants to be known for, so that Arthur's mistakes and burdens don't taint his reputation or his relationships going forward.

Reborn absorbs that without comment and then asks, "What are your intentions now that you've remembered?"

Tsuna drops the smile in favor of a serious expression as he says, "I've still the same ambition and ideals. Tsuna is much like Arthur was even before everything merged into one, so nothing of importance has changed. I still intend to inherit Vongola and change it back into what it was - a powerful ally for the marginalized and the poor. It's not right that Vongola has so much power and influence and is using it to commit crimes and to further bloody Primo's beautiful dream when it could be doing so much _good_."

In truth, every time he so much as thinks about Vongola, his blood boils with indignant, righteous fury, and disappointment and disgust become lead weights in his gut. His turbulent emotions, his inability to understand how anyone could let such villainy and wrongdoing fester and thrive only fuels his dreams and determination to do _better_. He has his sight set on a goal, and he will accomplish it, no matter what.

There are people counting on him, even if they don't know it yet, and he refuses to let them down.

Carefully tucking away his burning resolve, Tsuna manages to smile hopefully at Reborn and say, "I'm still your 'stupidly noble' student, as long as you'll have me."

With that plea, Reborn quirks a brow and meets his steady stare, black eyes cold and unfeeling. He's silent for an endlessly long moment before he snorts, and Leon transforms back into a chameleon and climbs up onto his shoulder. "Even if you were a king, you're my student now, Goody-Two-Shoes Tsuna. Don't think something as small as remembering your past life will get you out of training," he says, smirking, tone as superior and mocking as ever.

Just a few words, a few sentences strung together, and some of the weight, the burden on his very soul is lightened. Smiling brightly, helplessly, warmed to his core, Tsuna says, "Wouldn't dream of it." Even though what he means is _thank you_.

Going by the knowing glint in Reborn's eyes, his tutor understands regardless.

"You showed good judgement this time, but don't tell anyone else," Reborn advises, moving on to more pressing matters. "As far as your friends and family are concerned, you're still the same Tsuna you've always been, and nothing has changed. You have enough enemies looking for reasons to discredit you or assassinate you as it is."

Tsuna nods. That makes sense, and besides, he doesn't particularly want to tell anyone else. This kind of thing- Knowing would only be a burden, and he burdens his loved ones with enough already. "I'll take it to my grave," he promises. His second one- but he's not allowing himself to think about his death or the aftermath when it's still so fresh and the memory of his fatal wound still so cutting, like a phantom pain.

Reborn's expression darkens at that, perhaps thinking along the same lines, but he doesn't bring it up. Instead, he warns, "I will have to inform the Ninth. I don't think it'll be a problem, but I can't predict what his reaction will be. Your best bet is that he thinks of it as an advantage. Worst case scenario, he could have you disinherited, possibly tortured and interrogated if he believes you to be a threat. That's extreme and not likely, but a Mafia boss is always prepared for the worst possible outcome."

He can tell this is Reborn's way of expressing his worry, so Tsuna accepts the advice with another nod. As for Nono... "Actually, I'd like to speak with Nono myself - in person," he says. At Reborn's expectant look, he adds, "I have some questions for him. I need him to answer them if I'm going to inherit Vongola from him. There are certain things I must know before I can take even a single step forward."

"And what about your mother? Your friends? Your club? Are you really asking me to let you skip school and tutoring, Goody-Two-Shoes Tsuna?" Reborn asks, a very real threat underlying his tone.

Nevertheless, Tsuna has never backed down when faced with even the most terrifying of threats, and he's not about to start now. "As long as I explain that it's important, they'll understand. _You'll_ understand because you know better than anyone how important it is to be sure of one's convictions before making any big decisions," he says, confident and unwary. Reborn often seems unreasonable and unmoving, but Tsuna's found that he's occasionally willing to bend slightly if Tsuna's reasoning is sound - or if it's clear _Tsuna's_ not going to budge. He adds, sincerely, "If I didn't need to do this, I wouldn't ask."

"Hmph." Reborn tilts his hat, shadowing all but his signature smirk. "You've gotten uppity, Tsuna. As a student, I'll make you pay for it in training later, but as a boss... Not bad." He hops down off the side table and walks toward the door. Just before he exits, without turning around, he says, "We'll leave for Vongola HQ once you've been released from the hospital. Make sure you explain things to your subordinates before then. Good bosses don't leave their men _completely_ in the dark."

Relaxing now that Reborn's agreed, Tsuna smiles wryly and says, "Of course."

He's sure they'll be calm and reasonable about him suddenly leaving the country for another crawling with people who might or might not try to kill him while he's still not fully recovered for vague reasons at best.

...On second thought, he now understands why Reborn looked so smug when he gave Tsuna this arduous task. His friends have never once been calm and reasonable. This is not going to go well.

Payback in _training_ , huh? Shaking his head in exasperated fondness, he stands, settles the crutches securely under his arms and hands, and follows after his sadistic tutor, already inwardly attempting to come up with a suitable explanation for his entirely too overprotective friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Is Reborn OOC? Maybe, but I'm tired of fic riddled with suspicion, mistrust, and misunderstandings. Reborn trusts Tsuna, and Tsuna trusts Reborn, and that's all there is to it. Reborn's POV next chapter should clear up any doubt, and it's not like he's not going to keep an eye on Tsuna and get more info from him later.
> 
> \- Kyoko's POV was fun. Tried to keep in line with canon but also make her reasoning for diverging from it clear. Tsuna prompted her to reconsider her stance on fighting, but he's not the reason. Ryohei's not even entirely the reason. Like Ryohei, like Tsuna, she wants to be able to protect herself and those precious to her.
> 
> \- After the Yama/Ken fight in canon, Ken was able to get up and help Chikusa against Gokudera - if I'm not misremembering. That didn't happen in this fic. He was thoroughly beaten by Kyoko & Yamamoto (who wasn't as worried about being injured this time) & only got up to fight again when Mukuro possessed him.
> 
> \- There will be no pairings aside from background Nana/Iemitsu and Colonello/Lal. This is a fic about friendship and family only.
> 
> \- Would you guys be interested in reincarnations besides Arthur? I'll go with what works best with the fic, but I'll take your opinions into consideration as well.


	4. strengthen my heart in times of sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your kudos, bookmarks, and comments - and to those of you who answered my question and gave me suggestions! I appreciate it! ;)
> 
> Fair warning: this chapter is mostly angst. Also, suicide is mentioned but only in the notes.

**I.**

For a long time, Takeshi thinks he hates Tsuna. Perfect, white knight Tsuna who helps people and make friends and smiles like he means it, even when it's directed at strangers. Who doesn't even notice he's got practically the whole school wrapped around his fingers, who would never abuse that power and would be appalled at anyone who suggested he might if he did know. Who smiles and laughs and goes through life like it's _easy_ , like he has no problems, like kindness and sincerity are his default settings, and he doesn't have to work at them like everyone else.

Takeshi hates him, a little, and he's envious too because Tsuna makes everything look effortless when Takeshi knows the things he does require time and dedication and effort. He knows because he has a reputation for being friendly and easy-going, for his skill at baseball, and that didn't happen overnight. He worked at it, still works hard to be that person, that ideal even when it feels like the very last thing he wants to do. Nothing about it is easy.

Despite his best efforts, however, Takeshi has only ever managed to be a poor imitation of Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Takeshi's smiles don't always reach his eyes, don't always manage to be genuine, not like Tsuna's. Takeshi's friends are not close to him, don't follow him around like there's nothing else they'd rather be doing, not like Tsuna's. Takeshi is the ace of his team, but he can only do so much, win so much on his own in a team sport, and his teammates don't seem to understand that, don't seem to care about him beyond how they can ride his talent to victory or blame him for their losses, not like Tsuna's.

Takeshi hates that Tsuna has only good things, and Takeshi doesn't. Hates that Tsuna wouldn't even be angry at Takeshi for hating him, for being so petty because Tsuna is kind, and Takeshi doesn't know how to be. Hates that he doesn't really hate Tsuna- because he _wants_ to. He wants to hate blindly and without reason, but for all that Takeshi finds it hard to be kind, he's also not capable of being deliberately cruel to someone who doesn't deserve it.

And Tsuna really, really doesn't deserve it.

His envy bordering on hatred is why Takeshi remains polite but never goes out of his way to befriend Tsuna. He wouldn't be a good friend anyway, with all this ugliness inside him. In truth, he just wants to get through middle school and forget all about Goody-Two-Shoes Tsuna, Namimori's Prince Charming. Wants to forget all of the ways he doesn't quite measure up, but-

His eyes seem to follow Tsuna of their own accord, and he can never manage to tear them away. So he watches Tsuna, and the envy grows, but so does his admiration. It's hard not to admire someone so innately good, someone so painfully sincere. Someone Takeshi sort of wants to be, minus the heroics and lack of self-preservation (He regularly fights Hibari Kyoya, after all).

Despite the occasional accidental staring, despite all his musing, Takeshi never really interacts all that much with Tsuna. Then one day, he's walking down the hall during lunch break - coming back from the bathroom - when he stumbles upon something he probably wasn't supposed to hear, a conversation being held just out of sight around the corner.

"-getting worse?" A voice he recognizes as Onoki from club says, and Takeshi suddenly gets a sinking feeling he knows what's coming next.

"Yeah, I noticed too. Yamamoto's always so smug about his so-called talent, but looks like he's finally reached his limit." Another voice he knows, Goro, his senpai, usually kind tone now mocking and mean. "It's about time he learned he has to work hard like everyone else."

He knew they weren't exactly friends, that they weren't happy about a first year becoming a regular, but it still hurts, still feels like a betrayal. Goro is one of the teammates Takeshi had actually liked, had felt camaraderie with, even looked up to, and to hear even that was fake, that even _Goro_ dislikes him and wants him to fail-

He pastes on a practiced smile, but it's broken and wavering and so, so bitter. He kind of wants to cry or laugh, and instead he does neither, just leans back against the wall, silently shaking, and subjects himself to more cruelty.

"Did you see him the other day? He said he was staying behind to practice, but I bet he was just sucking up to the coaches again." Fuji this time, which is not surprising. He at least has been upfront about his enmity from the very beginning.

The others agree with him, laughing, and Takeshi leans his head back against the wall, closes his eyes, and wonders why he even bothers to pretend. It's never helped, clearly, and he's getting really sick of acting like he's okay when he's not. Who is he pretending for, anyway? Dad has always seen right through him, and Takeshi is incapable of fooling himself. What's stopping him from just dropping the act, dropping his smile, from stepping into sight and throwing scathing words right back at them?

He thinks of Tsuna again, and he's never genuinely wanted to be him, never wanted to be anyone but himself. But Tsuna is kind, and Takeshi wants to be, and maybe that's why he can't bring himself to say anything. Would Tsuna grow cold and mean and get revenge on those guys, if he's only protecting himself? Or would he not be fazed at all? Would he stay and listen and punish himself for not being better, for never being enough? Or would he walk away without saying anything? He doesn't know- because for all his envy and staring, he's never bothered to get to know Tsuna.

As for Takeshi- he's tired and hurting, and he doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they managed to get to him. Doesn't want to think about the team or his declining performance or how he isn't pretending to be friendly and easy-going at all- He _likes_ smiling and is generally happy, has fun and hangs out with friends, but he's hit a wall with baseball, and no matter what he does, he can't overcome it, can't improve, and it's such a small problem in the grand scheme of things, shouldn't matter all that much, really, but it honestly feels like his whole world is crumbling, breaking down around him-

Baseball is his whole life. He's never wanted to do anything else, be anything other than a professional player, but is he good enough? Or will everything end here? He's worked so hard, trained so hard, but has all of that been for nothing? He doesn't know, and it's so incredibly frustrating that it makes him want to scream, sometimes. Makes him angry and sad and pollutes absolutely everything around him. It's like there's a film covering the entire world, making everything dark and ugly, and that's why the shining, perfect, impossible to ignore Tsuna makes him feel so conflicted. Everything is gray and miserable and lifeless, except for Tsuna, _just_ Tsuna, and maybe that's why he wants to hate him.

Tsuna is colorful and happy and bright, and Takeshi _wants that back_ , but he's fallen into a hole so deep and dark he's not sure he can ever dig himself out again. He's not sure he deserves to because he isn't getting better, because he might never, and- Who even is Yamamoto Takeshi without baseball? Who is he without his dream? Strip away baseball, strip away his easy-going nature and ever-present smile, and what _is_ there? What's left?

Nothing. An empty void, a dark abyss. A ghost of a person. Not someone worth knowing, not someone worth anything.

He resigns himself to this truth and prepares to leave, intent to return to his classroom and lock this incident away in the back of his mind. He doesn't have the energy to make anything of it, and besides, are they really wrong to think that way?

"What's wrong with you?" A new voice chimes in, different but utterly familiar, not least because its owner has been in Takeshi's thoughts so often lately, tone furious and indignant. "He's your _teammate_."

Fuji snarls, "What's it to you, Goody-Two-Shoes?"

"Hey, man, you know how strong he is. Let's not provoke him," Onoki says, obviously nervous.

"I'm not afraid of him! You think you're some hotshot, a real fucking moral compass, huh? Well, I'm sick of you acting like you're better than everyone else, just like Yamamoto. Makes sense you'd defend him," Fuji says, pompously. "I bet you were born with a little talent in something too, and now everybody thinks you're hot shit, even though you haven't done anything to deserve it."

To his surprise, Tsuna jumps to _Takeshi's_ defense, apparently letting the insults directed at him slide off his back, voice as heated and scorching as Takeshi's ever heard it. "Yamamoto-kun doesn't think he's better than everyone else, and even I know he's trained twice as hard as anyone to get the level of skill he has now. There's not a day that goes by that I don't find him practicing well after club hours. You're all on the same team as him. How can you be so ignorant about your own teammate? How can you not know what a good person he is when it's so obvious? The only reasonable explanation is that you're jealous, and you're letting that jealousy cloud your judgement."

Takeshi doesn't hear the angry protests that follow, nor does he notice when the confrontation devolves into a pathetically swift fight. He's reeling in shock, unable to understand, unable to fully realize that Tsuna has just jumped to his defense, that Tsuna was bothered by them speaking badly of Takeshi when it had nothing to do with him, when they're not even friends. He can hardly comprehend that Tsuna of all people thinks he's a good person ("it's so obvious"), that he knows and recognizes that Takeshi's worked hard ("twice as hard as anyone"). Can hardly believe it.

He's blinking back tears for an entirely different reason this time, overwhelmed by confusion, joy, and gratitude. It's ridiculous to get so worked up over baseball in the first place, over careless cruel remarks by teenagers who are clearly jealous, but emotions aren't logical. If they were, he wouldn't have spiraled so far down a dark rabbit hole of self-loathing and despair, wouldn't be so touched and awed by Tsuna's fierce defense of him, for saying things that he already objectively knew.

Logically, his failure now doesn't mean failure later. Being unable to overcome an obstacle now doesn't automatically mean he'll never be able to. _Logically,_ he knows that, but emotions are messier. Convincing the dread in his gut and the impossibly heavy weight on his chest that things will get better is hard to do. It's harder still to stop thinking negatively when he refuses to share his problems with anyone, and the voice in his head pointing out all his flaws and mistakes, gleefully supplying every stray, despairing thought only gets louder and more persuasive the more he struggles.

Maybe... Maybe it's high time he did tell someone. His dad, perceptive as ever, has noticed and asked after Takeshi's moroseness for weeks, but Takeshi has brushed him off every time, flashed a smile they both knew was fake and assured him he was fine. He _isn't_ fine, though, and hasn't been for a while. He just hadn't wanted to burden his dad with his problems, figured he could handle things himself, and... Maybe he was punishing himself in this way, too, purposely drowning in his sorrows rather than reaching out for the lifeboat right in front of him.

Yeah, he's definitely talking to his dad. Today, because he's put it off for long enough already, and who knows what lame excuse he might conjure up to put it off again if he waits? Who knows what he might do if he continues listening to that voice in his head, if he continues to believe there's no way out?

(He's afraid to find out.)

Decision made, he steps away from the wall and is turning to walk around the corner when he walks right into someone else.

"Oh, sorry about that!" He says, cheerfulness not as difficult to maintain now that he's finally decided to ask for help. It falters slightly when he recognizes the person he's just bumped into, but he doesn't let his smile fade.

"That was my fault," Tsuna replies apologetically, green eyes friendly enough but clearly assessing, and Takeshi can tell the exact moment he realizes Takeshi was listening in. "How much did you hear?" He asks, seemingly torn between distress and anger, the latter not directed at Takeshi.

Awkward, Takeshi rubs the back of his neck and admits, "All of it."

"Well, I'm... sorry you had hear that from fellow teammates," he offers, just as awkward, but the fire from earlier is still there, still on Takeshi's behalf. It warms something inside of Takeshi to hear it. "They were wrong to criticize you, especially behind your back when you couldn't defend yourself."

This time, his smile is sad but not quite as bitter as even a minute ago. "They're not wrong, though. I haven't been getting better. I've just gotten worse," he says, and he doesn't know why he's saying all of this and to Tsuna, but it feels good to get it off his chest, to get it out now before it all comes gushing out to his dad in some incomprehensible mess. "I've worked so hard, but now I'm messing up all the time, and I don't know how to fix it, or why it's even happening." He takes a deep breath, lets it out in a sigh, in a poor attempt at a laugh. "Heh. Maybe this is as far as I go. Maybe the baseball gods have given up on me."

"It seems to me like the only one who's given up is _you_ ," Tsuna suddenly says, and Takeshi whips his head up to stare at him, eyes having trailed to the floor while he was talking. Tsuna looks contemplative but not condescending or pitying. "Pardon me for saying so, but Yamamoto-kun, you practice too _much_. Maybe you just need a break. Give your body time to rest and heal and then come at your problem from a new angle." He shrugs, smile uncertain, and adds, "My captain doesn't let me practice after club hours more than once or twice a week, and either he or our manager always stays with me to supervise. Do you- I've never seen anyone supervising your solo training."

It's not a question, but it's obvious what he's asking. "None of the senior members really like me, and our coaches-" He shrugs too, not sure how to explain that the coaches only care about winning but not about their players beyond that. "I'm used to training on my own," he eventually says, and Tsuna's expression grows even more disapproving. Takeshi is still confused about Tsuna's anger and concern for him, but perhaps this kind of personal investment in a virtual stranger is why so many people like Tsuna so much. It's even winning over him, he has to admit.

That aside, his advice isn't bad. Takeshi has been pushing himself relentlessly ever since he slipped up in a game two months ago and cemented their loss, attempting to make up for it by improving and making sure the gap between the scores isn't so close, so that a single mistake won't cost them the game next time. But... in retrospect, he may have been pushing himself too hard. When was the last time he took a break, did something other than practice after school? He can't remember, and that's... not good.

"Is it that simple?" He asks, not expecting an answer. "Just take a break, and things won't be so hopeless?"

Even so, Tsuna does. "It might not be, but it can't hurt to try. Athletes sometimes burn themselves out aiming for perfection. But being perfect just means you can no longer improve, and it's no different from hitting another wall. Being the best just means there's no one else who can challenge you, and that just seems lonely. Personally, I just want to be strong enough to protect everyone I want to protect but not strong enough that fighting isn't fun anymore." The look he gives Takeshi is shrewd and piercing. "Is baseball still fun for you, Yamamoto-kun?"

"It's not," he says, without conscious thought, a truth he hadn't wanted to face, and it burns like a confession. "It's not," he says again, wanting to cry, laughing brokenly, this realization the final nail in the coffin. Baseball isn't fun anymore, and Takeshi _really_ needs to talk to his dad about this, about everything.

The bell rings, announcing the end of lunch and effectively startling Takeshi out of his thoughts. "Thanks, Tsuna," Takeshi makes to sure to say before walking off, smile smaller than usual but much more genuine.

Embarrassed, Tsuna smiles back. "You're welcome, Yamamoto-kun. It was no trouble."

"You're a good guy, Tsuna," he says, and he's always known, but it's only now sinking in for real. "A good friend," he adds, thinking about the warmth in his chest and Tsuna's fierce defense and the fact that Tsuna has just nudged him towards the lighthouse in a storm he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to escape, deciding Tsuna is someone he wants to get to know, someone more than worth befriending.

Tsuna had his back, and now Takeshi will have his.

Understanding blooms on Tsuna's face, followed by warmth and acceptance. "I'll certainly strive to be," is all says, and it's enough. More than enough.

Takeshi gives him a cheery wave and heads back to class before he's marked as late, optimism and relief unfurling in inside him, buoying him up, making it impossible to stop smiling. Suddenly, a bleak future no longer looms ominously in the distance. After his talk with Tsuna and with the talk with his dad still to come, he can't help but think that things are looking are brighter already.

**II.**

"I'm going to Italy to speak with Vongola Ninth," Tsuna finally says, after checking on those who were injured and gathering everyone together without explanation. The only ones who weren't injured were the kids and Haru, who were left out of the fighting, while the rest of them were luckily put in the same hospital room, which is where they are now.

"When are we leaving, Jyuudaime?" Gokudera asks, almost immediately. "I can be packed and ready to go whenever." Saying that, he looks ready to hop out of bed right now.

In response, Tsuna grimaces, and Reborn's smirk widens. "There's no need for that, Gokudera-kun. You're... not going with me. None of you are."

There's a moment of shocked silence, and then all hell breaks loose.

"Jyuudaime, as your right hand man, there's no way I can let you go alone!"

"You're still extremely injured!"

"If this is some noble, self-sacrificing nonsense- Didn't we talk about this?"

"Haru thinks this is a bad idea, Tsuna-kun!"

The rest of it is indistinguishable as everyone talks over each other.

"Maa, how about we all calm down and let Tsuna explain?" Takeshi suggests, loud enough to be heard over everyone, and the protests reluctantly die down, but it's clear none of them are done talking. "Tsuna?" He prompts, inwardly wondering about the strange expression on Tsuna's face. Is that nostalgia?

"I'm not going alone. Reborn's coming with me," he explains, nodding at the hitman perched on the window sill. "As for why, I have important things to discuss with the Ninth, and they can't wait."

Distressed, Kyoko points out, "But you still haven't fully recovered. I know Reborn-san is strong, but what if someone like Mukuro attacks you, and Reborn-san isn't able to help?"

"Neither have any of you," Tsuna counters, eyes sweeping over all of them again worriedly, lingering on their bruises and bandages. "I can't ask you to risk your lives for me again so soon, especially when I'm going for selfish reasons."

"Then it's a good thing you're not asking," Takeshi says cheerfully, before he gives into the urge to throttle Tsuna for being ridiculously selfless once _again_. He's learned it's easier just to steamroll all of his arguments. "We're not asking you to let us come along, either. We're going because we selfishly want to protect you. Guess it works out then, huh?"

"It doesn't work like that," Tsuna protests, frustrated. Good. They're already wearing him down. "I'm going into the lion's den. The heart of the Mafia. Even though Nono and my dad are on my side, we can't be sure there aren't dissidents within Vongola itself. I can't guarantee your safety. It's far too dangerous, so it's better if you stay-"

"I'm going," Hibari interjects, an anticipatory smile on his face that anyone else might mistake for a smirk. Probably thinking of all the strong mafioso he'll be able to fight. If Tsuna isn't targeted, then there's a good chance Hibari will find a target - or targets - of his own while they're there.

Takeshi thinks back to his most recent fight, remembers the adrenaline and determination and satisfaction when he won, and... He can understand, a little, how Hibari feels. That feeling during a good fight- there's nothing else like it.

The look Tsuna throws Hibari is long-suffering but not surprised. "I'm just going there to _talk_ ," he says, shoulders slumping, knowing it's futile if even Hibari has agreed. "I'm hoping I don't have to fight."

Hibari makes a dismissive sound, and Tsuna sighs.

"If you do, I need to be there to protect you," Gokudera says, clenching the fabric of his thin hospital sheets between his fingers. "I swore I would protect you."

"I know that, but-" Tsuna starts to say.

"We're going with you, and that's that!" Ryohei pipes up decisively.

"You're still on crutches, Nii-san," Tsuna says, turning to him, exasperated.

Indignant, Ryohei fires back, "So are you! You're extremely hardheaded, Sawada!"

"My brother's right. You're being stubborn, Tsuna, and you haven't given us a good enough reason not to go. So just accept it already," Kyoko says, steel lining her tone. "We're going with or without your approval."

Tsuna meets her steady gaze with his own, unflinching, and after a long moment, he sighs again but says, grudgingly, "Fine."

Ryohei whoops, and the rest of them break out into relieved smiles- all except for one. (Okay, two - but it's not like Hibari ever counts as 'them' anyway.)

"Haru's going, too," Haru declares, looking up and around at all of them as if daring them to deny her.

Tsuna adopts a worried expression again. "But Haru-chan..." he says, hesitantly.

"I know Haru can't fight, but Yamamoto-kun couldn't either before he became friends with you," she points out, reasonably, and Takeshi smiles encouragingly at her when she glances at him. "And that was only a few months ago. Not the years of experience Hibari-kun and Kyoko-chan and the rest of you have."

"She has a point," Takeshi chimes in, helpfully. "Without Kyoko's help, I don't think I could have beaten that guy on my own." Admitting even that much would have been painful a few months ago too, but he's come a long way since then, and now he can recognize his faults and failures without feeling like the world has ended.

Encouraged by his support, Haru continues, "Besides, leaving now while none of you are fully recovered is a stupid plan. Wait until you're all at one hundred percent, and in the meantime..." She takes a deep breath, steels herself, and then announces, "In the meantime, Haru is going to learn how to fight."

"You don't have to do that," Tsuna argues, as expected. "There's no reason for any of you to be fighting. You're _children_."

Haru is just as bullheaded as Tsuna, however - maybe even more so - and she doesn't back down. "So are you! Everyone's fighting, and we're all just kids. Maybe we shouldn't have to, but who cares? This is how it is, and being stupidly noble isn't going to change that!" She tells him, heated.

"I'm not being noble! I just don't want any of you to get hurt, especially not because of me!" Tsuna practically yells, desperate for them understand, not realizing they don't _care_ if they get hurt protecting him.

"It's not because of you!" Haru shouts back, standing up, fierce and angry, and Tsuna looks at her in surprise. Much more quietly, she says, "It's not because of you. Haru doesn't want to be left behind. Haru doesn't want to be the only one on the sidelines. Do you know how terrifying it is to sit back and watch your friends go off to fight, not knowing what's happening to them, or if they'll even come back? Do you know how scared I was when I found out you'd all been hurt so badly you'd been hospitalized?" As she speaks, tears well up and bubble over, and she wipes them away irritably.

Tsuna watches her, guiltily, sadly, but with reluctant understanding. "Haru-chan-"

"It's awful, and I never want to feel that way again. I refuse. I'm going to fight, and there's nothing you can say to stop me. So just- _deal with it_ , Tsuna-kun," Haru tells him, with a determined frown and balled fists at her sides and a straight back that will never bend or break.

A heavy silence follows, as Tsuna looks at her and then at everyone, troubled and desperate, pained by the idea of any of them fighting and getting hurt again and the knowledge that he can't actually prevent any of them from putting themselves in danger just for him. That seems to be his main concern, and Takeshi has to wonder how Tsuna can be so blind to his own worth, to how much he means to all of them.

How can he understand that they're fighting to protect him and not get that it's because he would do - and does - the same thing for them in a heartbeat, without hesitation, without stopping to think about himself or his own safety?

Tsuna is precious to every single one of them, for the same reason, for different ones, and none of them want him to get hurt protecting them either. But explaining that to Tsuna is pointless because Tsuna has never once put his own life above theirs, and he never will. The idea that they might put his life above theirs is anathema to him, to his very beliefs. He can't even fathom it.

Tsuna puts _strangers_ ' lives above his own because he's impossibly good that way, because he's noble and selfless and self-sacrificing to the point of idiocy. Takeshi will never put a stranger's life above Tsuna's because he's selfish and self-aware enough to know he'll never be half as good as Tsuna, and he owes Tsuna a debt that can never be repaid.

Tsuna will be the white knight, protector of people, but Takeshi has appointed himself as Tsuna's protector (with all of their friends a very close second), his shadow, and he takes the role just as seriously.

So Haru learning to fight is a-okay in his book. It just means one more capable fighter in the group, one more person who can and will protect Tsuna with their lives. One less person to worry about because she'll be able to take care of herself.

"...Will we be able to postpone the meeting, Reborn?" Tsuna asks, eyes closed and expression incredibly tired.

"I was expecting something like this to happen, so I never scheduled one in the first place," Reborn tells him, smirk not as smug as usual in the face of Tsuna's visible exhaustion.

He nods, and when he opens his eyes, they're... sad. Regretful. Dark, like the color has been leeched out of them. "It's decided, then. We'll wait until everyone's recovered, and in the meantime, Haru-chan will learn to how fight." That said, he grabs his crutches and stands, leaving without another word.

"...Carnivore," Hibari says, once Tsuna is right next to him, about to step through the open door. His blue eyes are expectant, but Tsuna doesn't turn to look at him.

"I'm just tired, Kyoya," Tsuna tells him, and he sounds it, too. He keeps moving when Hibari doesn't pry further, making it into the other room and shutting the other door softly without looking at any of them.

...What was that about?

"Is Tsuna okay, Reborn-san?" Kyoko asks worriedly, and she's not the only one. "He looked..." She trails off, uncertainly.

Reborn is frowning, most of his face shadowed by his hat. "Tsuna's fine. If you don't want him to worry, get stronger. Take your training seriously."

Takeshi flinches, knowing that was aimed at him more than anyone, knowing Reborn isn't wrong. He'd just been musing on how he has to protect Tsuna from himself, but... He doesn't have the skill to back that up, not yet. He's been toying with the idea, even more so since his last fight, but now he really, seriously considers it- and if it means helping Tsuna, helping their friends, it's not really something he has to deliberate, is it?

He's going to ask his father to teach him Shigure Soen Ryu. He'd been hesitant to do so because he doesn't want to give up baseball, doesn't want to risk an even more serious injury that might prevent him from playing, but-

Tsuna's more important. His friends are more important. Right now, he can juggle both, can still make time for his club and Mafia stuff, but at some point, he's going to have to make a choice. Deep down, he's already chosen, already knows which he would pick in any given scenario-

(It's not baseball.)

Until that time, though, he's very carefully not thinking about it at all.

"I already have a teacher in mind for you, Haru," Reborn tells her, smirking when Haru falls over herself thanking him and gushing about what a good kid he is, fierce, immovable spirit tucked away until Haru feels it necessary to pull it out again. "You'll meet them tomorrow, so be prepared."

Haru twirls, grinning. "Haru can't wait to start learning! Haru has so many ideas for outfits, desu~!" She suddenly stops and whirls around to face Kyoko. "Kyoko-chan, will you help me pick out the perfect one? I have such a hard time choosing!"

"Of course. Just bring a bunch of them here when you have the time, and you can try them on and show them to me," Kyoko suggests, and the two of them start discussing wearing matching outfits into battle.

Takeshi laughs at some of their ideas, happy he's finally decided on a course of action, the _right_ course. He wants to get that tired expression off of Tsuna's face, and he's sure that finding out Takeshi is seriously dedicated to learning a sword style will cheer him right up.

**III.**

His student is the reincarnation of Arthur Pendragon.

It makes a terrible amount of sense, and Reborn is in no position to throw around the word "impossible" considering he's a grown man trapped in the body of a toddler. He believed Tsuna instantly, but he's not the world's greatest hitman because he believes in any declaration without sufficient evidence. Luckily for Tsuna, however, the evidence has been piling up in his favor since the beginning.

Tsuna's ridiculously trustworthy character helped. He couldn't tell a decent lie to save his life. Not one Reborn wouldn't be able to sniff out, anyway. He knows him too well.

Because he knows Tsuna so well, he can tell that his claim that he's no different now is also true. There's been no significant change in personality or his ambition, aside from the uncharacteristic bitterness and melancholy. That's understandable, too, and he almost wishes it weren't. No matter which version you read, which small details you change, no matter the genders of the characters, King Arthur's legend always ends in tragedy.

Reborn's no expert, of course. He's well read in many different areas, has enough certifications to fill a gymnasium, but he's never been particularly interested in legends or fairy tales. He's even less interested in reading this particular one now because it would feel uncomfortably like invading Tsuna's privacy, like breaking into his mind and reading his memories without his consent. Never mind that his life story is in the public domain.

Even without knowing everything, he's aware of major events. Lancelot's and Guinevere's affair, Morgan le Fay's plotting, Mordred's incestuous origins and eventual usurpation. The final battle between father and child, Mordred's death. Arthur being taken away to Avalon by the Lady of the Lake, fated to return again during Britain's darkest hour.

He hates that Tsuna has suffered through any of that, much less all of it, and that there's nothing he can do to change it. He can't even get revenge because the people he wants to destroy are all dead and gone and have been for a while. The only one left from that time is Tsuna, who's still reeling from shock and betrayal, who just died, who was _killed_ , and Reborn has no idea how to help him.

There's no therapist for reincarnated souls, no tried and true procedure. The only thing he can do is keep Tsuna surrounded by family and friends, remind him he's not alone, and prove that he deserves Tsuna's tattered, broken trust. He's honestly humbled and touched that Tsuna would ever trust again after so many betrayals, that he would trust Reborn, but perhaps that's just a mark of Tsuna's character. Terribly naive, terribly trusting, but unquestionably, undoubtedly, wholeheartedly good, heart and soul.

It's too bad Tsuna is the only one who can't see that, but this too he's known from the start - Tsuna thinks the world of everyone he meets and spares none of that faith and wonder for himself.

"You're worrying everyone, Goody-Two-Shoes Tsuna," Reborn says, hopping up next to him on the bed. "A good boss _relieves_ his Family of their worries."

That sad, rueful expression from earlier is still on his face, and it makes Reborn frown in concern.

"I apologize. I'm still adjusting to-" he waves a hand- "this. Haru-chan reminded me of someone, and I was not prepared for the memory she evoked. I thought it prudent to get away and give myself space to think." Apparently, when reminded of the past, or perhaps with the effort of keeping his composure in the face of it, his speech becomes even more formal and stilted.

Reborn narrows his eyes, searching Tsuna's suddenly wistful face, but he doesn't find any deceit. "...Do you want to talk about it?" He offers and doesn't regret it when Tsuna looks at him in pleasant surprise.

"...It was my wife," he eventually reveals, and Reborn very carefully doesn't react. "Gwen was stubborn to a fault, and she was never afraid to tell me when I was being foolish. She was normally cheerful and teasing, but if I did something she didn't approve of, she was always quick to tell me," Tsuna explains, smile adoring and nostalgic, and Reborn supposes Tsuna must have loved her. That makes it worse, somehow. Tsuna continues, more somber, "I wasn't often in the mood to listen. I would dismiss her concerns and do what I thought best regardless. 'A king isn't human', I thought. 'A king has no need for emotions.' And so I kept even Gwen at arm's length."

He runs his hand through his hair, leaving his palm over his eyes so that Reborn can only see the pained twist of his mouth, a mockery of a smile, too miserable, too bitter to be the real thing.

"Just another mistake, I guess, in a long line of them," Tsuna almost whispers, and Reborn's chest aches at the heartbreak in his voice, the misery and defeat lining his entire body. "I should have- I-" he cuts himself off, unable to continue, voice breaking, emotions overflowing.

Reborn lays his hand over Tsuna's, which is trembling, a silent comfort, and that must be the last straw, the final crumbling of Tsuna's resistance.

Tsuna cries, silently, and Reborn stays next to him the entire time.

"You're not alone," he says, and Tsuna sobs. "You don't have to bear everything alone anymore. You're my student now, so I'll bear that weight for you," he promises. "Do you believe me?" He asks, and even after everything, even when all of his experiences up 'til now tell him he probably shouldn't, Tsuna does.

He nods, and Reborn silently vows that he'll do everything in his power to protect Tsuna. Even from Nono, if he need be. Even from Tsuna himself.

He doesn't think he's ever meant anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My eternal gratitude to DeerShifter who (has helped immensely with this fic in general but for this chapter specifically) figured out how Hibari views this Tsuna - "An adolescent carnivore who's still learning how to hunt properly and has strange ideas about acceptable levels of crowding. One Hibari can work with on occasion, but not all day." I love this description so much. You have no idea. ;)
> 
> \- For Takeshi's POV in the first part, I was trying to write the kind of thinking that might have led to his conclusion that suicide was the only option in canon. Tsuna helped inadvertently by making Takeshi realize he wasn't in a good place and that he needed to talk to someone about it before things got that far. Plus, sometimes you need someone to tell you the obvious for you to finally believe it. Tsuna's advice didn't magically solve his problems, but he helped Takeshi when he was at his lowest, and Takeshi feels he owes Tsuna a debt for that.
> 
> \- Haru has joined the fight! We'll have her POV next chapter. Please let me know how I did writing her! Unlike Reborn, this was the first time ever.
> 
> \- Arthur was good at shutting out his emotions, but Tsuna has never needed to. Tsuna was bound to crumple under the sheer force of Arthur's long ignored feelings, and this is the result. He's only fourteen. Reborn never expected he would get so attached, but that was bound to happen eventually too.
> 
> \- The reason Reborn instantly recognized Excalibur is because it's a property of the sword itself. Any warrior above a certain skill level can look at it and Know what it is right away, whereas warriors below that level think they recognize it, like it's on the tip of their tongue. Hence why he hides it in a sheathe of wind, to keep his identity hidden.


	5. light the way to bright tomorrows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for the awesome feedback! ;)
> 
> Some answers to your questions: There will be no pairings beyond background Nana/Iemitsu and Colonello/Lal. There will be no reincarnations besides Arthur. Tsuna looks like Saber from Fate/Prototype, which you can look up, and Tsuna is using Proto Excalibur. That being said, this isn't Fate, and I'll be bending and changing things to suit my own needs, so don't expect it to be exactly the same. I'm always up for suggestions for plot or extras, like short side stories, and I'll give you credit if I use your idea. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them.

**I.**

There's a baby that walks on top of her house's fence every weekday. His name is Reborn. Such a cute name!

She was shocked the first time she saw him just because it was an unusual sight on its own, and then she _really_ looked at him and was paralyzed for a different reason entirely - his cuteness! She was unable to do anything but stare at his adorable, chubby cheeks, his precious, little curls, his wide, innocent eyes, and then he left before she could snap herself out of it and talk to him.

She was depressed that she'd missed her chance and even entertained the thought of looking around the neighborhood, but luckily for her, he showed up again at the same time the next morning. He's continued to show up every weekday since then, and up until now, Haru has been too awed and overwhelmed to do anything more than gush inwardly at the sight of him. (And outwardly, to her father and friends and anyone who will listen.)

Haru is aware her love of all things cute and sweet is a little intense for most people, and she's not ashamed of it. She's rather proud of her own cuteness, only emphasized by her costumes and casual clothes, and she happily basks in the cuteness of others. Anyway, the point is, she doesn't really care what anyone else thinks. They can go and be mean and judgemental somewhere else because Haru has no time for it.

That's why she's not too bothered by the boy around her age who's always with Reborn, who she assumes is Reborn's brother. She only hopes he doesn't try to stop her from her ultimate goal, the culmination of all her hopes and dreams (of the last few weeks.)

 _'I want to hug him so badly!'_ She thinks, ecstatic at the very idea, unaware of the drool dribbling down her chin or the dazed, happy expression on her face. Today is the day, for sure! She peers around the fence for the tenth time that morning and barely refrains from yelling in excitement when she spots him. _'Here he comes!'_

With little effort, she manages to pull herself up onto the fence and stand, wobbling a little as she tries to keep her balance. If she is to confess her love, she has to be on the same level, or else she'll come off as rude. And she can't have Reborn thinking badly of her!

Determined, she carefully makes her way over to him, heartbeat picking up its pace as she gets near, excited beyond belief to finally be meeting the cutest baby she's ever seen. She doesn't waver in the face of the older boy's surprise or concern, only having eyes for Reborn, who has stopped and is looking at her with his own big, adorable eyes.

"Hello...!" She manages to say, despite her utter joy almost overwhelming her once again. This is too important for her to freeze up again, no matter how cute Reborn is up close.

"Ciaossu!" Reborn says in return, voice high-pitched and adorable. Even his greeting is cute!

Haru mentally squeals. "My name... is Miura Haru," she introduces, once she's sure she won't accidentally squeal out loud. It's more of a trial than she expected, but then again, Reborn's cuteness is unprecedented. It's only natural that it would be a trial to speak to him normally, but it's a trial Haru is willing to endure, no matter how difficult it is on her self-control.

"I know about you. You're from this house, right?" He asks, gesturing to Haru's house with an adorably tiny hand.

He knows about her! Encouraged, she finds the strength to ask, "Would you be my friend?"

"Sure."

Pure bliss assails her at his easy acceptance. Overjoyed, she has little hope of keeping her emotions to herself, and her self-control fails her. Haru lets out a happy yell, so moved she falls off the fence. Though she feels weightless in her heart, she makes sure to land properly on her feet when gravity pulls her physical body back down.

Once on the ground, however, she's overcome with excitement again, and she throws her arms up and lets out another victorious shout. Reborn has just agreed to be her friend, after all, and she doubts he'd take it back just because she got a little excited. Friends don't do that, you know? And Reborn doesn't seem like he would regardless. He's far too sweet and cute.

Ahh. There's just one more thing Haru has to ask, this one last request which if granted would make her entire life.

"Erm... Um..." she tries, uncharacteristically hesitant. Even though this is super important, a mission Haru has to see through no matter what, she's having trouble putting her greatest desire into words. "It's rather sudden, but... Can you hug me-" She wraps her arms around her chest tightly, as if cuddling someone very small- "like this?"

Unfortunately, Reborn turns her down immediately. "Don't touch me so easily."

"Eh?" Haru looks at him bewilderment.

Then, from out of nowhere, Reborn pulls out a gun and explains, "'Cause I'm a hitman."

"How many times are you going to tell people that?" The other boy asks, eying her warily even as he addresses Reborn. "It's not funny, and it never was."

After an endless moment of utter shock, Haru sees red, and unfortunately for those who have made her so angry, she loses all willingness to listen to reason, mind covered in a red haze, logic lost to fury. She's aware of this bad habit of hers, but so far, she's never been wrong in accusing someone, and she doesn't think she is now either.

Without hesitation, Haru raises her hand and swings it at the boy's face, only growing even angrier when he steps back and dodges it easily.

"You're a bastard!" She tells him, close to shouting, balling her fists at her sides, so mad she can hardly stand it. "What are you teaching him? An assassination technique?"

Frowning, the boy says, "I think you're mistaken."

Haru isn't listening, though. She can feel her teeth grinding, her eyes narrowing into a sharp, angry glare, her heart hurting at the knowledge that Reborn has been led astray by this _scum_. "Babies are angels with pure, white hearts," she gets out, darkly, imagining all kinds of awful things this guy has likely been filling poor, unknowing Reborn's head with.

He thinks he's a hitman! He shouldn't even know what that is!

Without warning, she strikes again, reaching out and grabbing the boy's shirt before he can move away again, yanking him closer with the strength that's come forth in answer to Haru's distress and fury.

"Are you destroying that lovely pureness with your rotten heart?!" She demands, attempting to shake the truth out of him - or some sense into him.

The boy grabs her by her wrists, and much to her annoyance, his viselike grip prevents her from both shaking him again and pulling away. "I'm not destroying anything. You're making assumptions and acting on them as if they're proven fact," he says, irritatingly calm, as if Haru's just throwing a tantrum and not dishing out _justice_.

"I'm not assuming!" She fires back, heatedly, still trying to free herself, but most of her attention is on their argument. "You're his brother, right? Haru sees you guys together often. Stop trying to wiggle out of this!"

Finally, the boy lets go with a sigh, and she rubs her wrists as she glares at him. Unfazed, he explains, "I'm not his brother. He's my-"

But Haru interrupts him, indignant anger fueled by this new revelation, "Then you're an even bigger bastard! Making someone else's baby a devil-!"

"Miura-san, you're being unreasonable-"

"Listen!" She shouts, looming over him despite the fact they're about the same height, getting close and personal to hammer her message in, "You shall not see Reborn-chan anymore!" More quietly (but no less insistent), she adds, "You're a bad influence on him."

Rather than looking scared or agreeable, the boy just looks exasperated at her decree. She gears up to say something else - maybe a threat to keep the boy in line - when Reborn speaks up again.

"That wouldn't work," he says.

"Huh?" slips out in her confusion, and she turns to look at him.

Off to the side, the boy mutters, in a low enough voice that Haru doesn't hear him, "You're just going to make things worse, aren't you?" And Haru misses Reborn's telling smirk in response.

"It's my job to raise Tsuna, the tenth boss of the Mafia," Reborn explains innocently, likely repeating things he's been told by the boy next to her as some cruel joke. "I cannot be separated from Tsuna 'til then."

Overcome by another wave of boiling hot anger, Haru tries to punch the boy - Tsuna - and is barely satisfied when instead of hitting his face, Tsuna blocks her fist and winces at the force behind it. Haru's no weakling, and she's plain angry, to boot. He deserves it anyway.

"What's up with that?! The _Mafia?!_ You're going too far, even for a delinquent's idea of fun! You even restricted Reborn-chan's freedom!" She yells, incredulous, furious, disbelieving except the proof is right here.

Just how awful is this person in front of her? How low can he get? With every bit of truth revealed, Reborn's situation gets more awful, and her opinion of Tsuna just gets worse.

Whatever. She'll leave the hugging for later. What's more important right now is protecting Reborn. She can hardly think straight with the source of her problems right in front of her, so she'll have to go somewhere else and cool her head for a bit. Then she can think of ways to get Reborn away from that horrible boy.

That decided, she whirls around and walks away, making sure to smile and wave goodbye at Reborn before leaving. She has the most important mission of her life to plan for, after all, and for Reborn, she definitely won't fail!

"You're the same as me," a voice she doesn't recognize calls out, and Haru is pulled away by a beautiful foreign woman before she realizes what's happening.

II.

After her enlightening conversation with Bianchi, she has trouble sleeping that night, thoughts insistent and hard to ignore. Reborn really is a hitman, and he's teaching Tsuna to be a Mafia boss. But Reborn's a baby, and Tsuna's just a kid like her, and this is where her brain stalls out, and she starts the useless cycle over again.

It might be the sleep deprivation, or her horror at the thought of a baby being a hitman (or a combination of both), but by the time morning comes around again, she's finally decided on a course of action.

She's going to fight Tsuna to test his strength and find out for herself if he's actually the real thing.

Her only other option is to stay firmly in denial, and while Haru is usually content to stick with her first instinct and defend that decision until the very end, if she is in fact wrong about this, she needs to apologize. To Reborn for doubting him and to Tsuna for that and for trying to attack him and for all the mean things she said. Haru doesn't like to admit she's wrong, but she's also not about to pretend she isn't if (or when) she so clearly is. That's just not how Miura Haru operates!

Anyway, that's why she digs through her costumes and puts together a suit of armor - made of samurai armor, knee pads, and a motorcycle helmet - over a track suit and grabs a hockey stick as her makeshift weapon. If she had more time, she'd make something that actually fits her and that would strike fear into the hearts of her enemies - or ideally, just Tsuna. As it is, she's on a time crunch, and this will just have to do.

She leaves the house earlier than usual that morning both to avoid her father's inevitable questions and to catch Tsuna before he gets to his school, which she knows is Namimori Middle because of his uniform and the route he takes to get there. The samurai armor is heavy and uncomfortable, meant for a grown adult rather than a teenage girl, so it takes her a while to get in position. Her hard work pays off, however, when a familiar blonde boy walks right by her and onto the bridge without noticing Haru hiding around the corner of a nearby house.

She hobbles over to the bridge as quickly as she can, making enough noise that Tsuna spots her right away, but he doesn't say anything until she's only a few feet away from him.

"Good morning, Miura-san," Tsuna greets cordially, expression undeniably curious as he takes in her appearance but not angry or resentful. Not holding a grudge against her, then, which would have been understandable and might possibly lend credence to his story. Maybe. "Do you mind if ask why you're dressed so conspicuously today?"

"Good morning," she replies dully, too tired for her normal cheer. "Haru couldn't sleep last night because of all the thoughts she had."

He smiles, a little. "So you wear such things when you don't get enough sleep?" He asks, teasing.

Irritated, she huffs, "It's not that. That would make me a complete idiot." He has no right being amused or teasing her while he's under such heavy suspicion! Without giving him a chance to reply, she soldiers on, "If Reborn-chan is a real hitman, Haru thinks you, who will be a real Mafia boss, are very strong, Tsuna-san."

"I suppose," he allows, brows furrowing as he seemingly comes to a conclusion about her intentions before she gets to the point - one he apparently doesn't approve of.

Nevertheless, Haru puts on her helmet and explains, mentally preparing herself, resolute in this promise, "If you're strong, Haru will believe Reborn-chan and won't complain about anything in his life." She grips her hockey stick with both hands, raises it above her head, and begins running toward him, yelling out, "Please have a match with me!"

Tsuna steps to the side, avoiding her downward swing, and says, "I don't think that's a good idea, Miura-san."

"It's the only way!" She insists, striking and missing again as Tsuna dodges and doesn't fight back, faster than Haru who is weighed down by her armor.

"It just really seems like you could have taken some steps before this one," he says, exasperated, and she swipes at him angrily. "Besides, I haven't agreed to this, so it isn't even a proper duel."

Haru tells him, irritably, "So agree and fight me already!"

Tsuna opens his mouth to respond, no doubt still trying to dissuade her, when someone appears in front of him and says, "Juudaime, please stay behind me!"

Tsuna looks just as surprised as she feels. "Gokudera-kun, wait-!"

"Die!" The new kid yells, throwing a handful of projectiles at Haru.

She only gets a good look at them once they're too close to dodge. "Huh? Are those-?!"

**Kaboom!**

_'Dynamite?!'_ She doesn't get the chance to ask, but it hardly matters. She gets her answer when they explode, and the force of the explosion is enough to knock her clean off of the bridge and into the river below.

Frantic, she claws her way to the surface and breaks through, coughing out the water she swallowed accidentally during the sudden plunge. "Why do you have dynamite?!" She asks, incredulous, but she quickly realizes she has a bigger problem to worry about. Her armor is too heavy. It's just weighing her down, making it difficult to stay afloat, much less swim to safety. She takes a deep breath and pleads, "Save me!"

"I've got you," a voice right next to her says soothingly, and an arm wraps around her, relieving some of the weight. "Hold onto me."

Haru stops flailing and sees that it's _Tsuna_ , who must have jumped in after her right away, before she even asked for help. "Tsuna-san," she says, shakily, tears pooling in her eyes as relief courses through her, grasping him in return and holding on tightly.

Tsuna smiles at her, reassuring and gentle, and he pulls her along as he swims for the bank, slower with her extra weight and only one arm but still making steady progress. "I'll protect you with my life," he promises, words filled with such certainty that Haru can do nothing but believe him. "I won't let anything happen to you, Miura-san, so there's no need to worry. Just hold onto me, and it'll be okay."

Unable to hold it back anymore, Haru cries, the fear and desperation and sleeplessness combined with her sheer relief and gratitude for the rescue too much for her. Haru cries, and Tsuna is a solid, warm weight at her side, a sharp, welcome contrast to the freezing water surrounding them, threatening to swallow them whole.

Tsuna might be a Mafia boss, and Reborn might be a hitman. She doesn't know the full details, though she plans to find out. What she does know is that Tsuna is not the awful, cruel delinquent with a black heart she'd pegged him as, and well-

She's never been so glad to be wrong.

**II.**

Once they're safely on land, the boy with the dynamite - Gokudera - gruffly apologizes for attacking her and hands her a towel, all while looking away with a petulant scowl on his face. He cheers up noticeably when Tsuna thanks him, but Haru ignores the byplay, instead drying herself off and using this time to think things over.

Tsuna never once fought back or held Haru's snap judgements against her, and when she was in trouble, he didn't hesitate to save her. He's clearly kind and heroic, not something she would expect from a Mafia boss, but she doesn't doubt it anymore. He was able to easily avoid her attacks, even when she wasn't hindered by armor. He was strong enough to swim with her dead weight plus her armor no problem, and he wasn't even sweaty or out of breath once he pulled them to safety.

He's strong, and he's a good person. And- She glances up at him from beneath the towel- He's cute, too. It's not something Haru usually bothers to notice about boys because they've grown out of their pure, angelic faze and are usually rude and rowdy, their hearts blackened by outside influences and their experiences growing up.

But well, she thinks Tsuna _hasn't_. His heart is still good and pure, and there's nothing rotten or cruel about him. Even his words are pure and good-hearted, and just remembering the gentle, confident way he'd said them and the kind, reassuring smile he'd given her is enough to set her face aflame and her heart racing.

Haru's not stupid. She can recognize a crush when she sees one, and like everything else she sets her sights on, she's prepared to stick with this decision and give it her all. She likes Tsuna, who is a Mafia boss, and well, Haru's always imagined herself getting married to someone amazing, someone worthy of her. Being the wife of a Mafia boss doesn't sound half bad. Not one like Tsuna, anyway.

"Are you okay, Miura-san?" Tsuna asks, worried, kneeling down in front of her.

Haru lets out a noise at his sudden closeness, heart beating double time, stomach fluttering with her pleasure at his concern for her.

Gokudera clicks his tongue. "You better be, after everything Juudaime did to save you," he says.

Reminded of her daring rescue, Haru is once again overcome with emotion, her happiness and awe spilling over and out of her mouth in an excited yell.

She leaps up, towel barely hanging on, and tries to imitate Tsuna's cool kindness, though her enthusiasm ends up leaking through, "I've got you!" She throws her arms up and yells, "I'll protect you with my life!" She punches the space in front of her. "I won't let anything happen to you!" She hugs herself tightly, starry-eyed, giggling a little. "Just hold onto me, and it'll be okay!"

"Please stop," Tsuna begs, burying his red face in his hands.

She lets out a content sigh. "Haru thought such cheesy lines could only be seen on TV," she admits, warmed all over.

Offended, Gokudera immediately snarls, "Juudaime's cheesy lines are way better than those on TV!"

"You're not helping!" Tsuna cries, though he sounds more or less resigned. "I don't- I don't have _lines_!"

Heedless of his protests, lost in her own world, Haru punches the air again and yells, "There's no need to worry!"

"Your lines are the coolest, Juudaime!" Gokudera tells him, shooting him a thumbs up when Tsuna groans and slumps dejectedly.

Haru gazes at Tsuna adoringly. "It was very wonderful that you jumped in to save Haru, Juudaime~❤"

Tsuna grimaces and says, "Please don't call me that. Just Tsuna is fine. Besides, it was no trouble."

"My heart... is pounding...!" Haru declares, clutching her chest and definitely not listening, heart full and head fuller of daydreams. "Haru can say with certainty she has fallen in love with Tsuna-san!"

(She doesn't think it's love, not really. She knows it doesn't work like it does in the movies, even if Tsuna himself could have been pulled straight from the screen, but she couldn't pass up the chance to spout her own cheesy lines, especially when it has such a glorious effect on the one who has already teased her.

Haru is not above getting revenge as long as it's equal to whatever act made her consider it in the first place, even if she knows most think her silly and excitable and not capable of such a thing. Haru has never wasted time worrying about other people's opinions of her, however, and she's not about to start now.)

Tsuna turns an adorable shade of pink, all the way up to his ears, making Haru grin. "Wha- What was that?" He asks, flustered. "Don't you love Reborn, Miura-san?"

"But Haru feels like being hugged by you, Tsuna-san!" Haru tells him, hugging herself and imagining that it's Tsuna, feeling a pleasant buzzing sensation at the imaginary touch, only partly pretending because she _does_ like Tsuna even if she doesn't love him.

Tsuna, face burning (and finally realizing that there's absolutely no arguing or dissuading this girl), sighs and asks, "If I let you hug me, will you stop saying such embarrassing things?"

Haru can barely contain her glee- and she doesn't try to. She shouts in victory, agrees to Tsuna's terms (for today), and giggles madly as she throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and clutching tightly. Despite his obvious reluctance, Tsuna returns the hug, albeit less eagerly, and Haru basks in the wonderful feeling of being held and feeling safe and protected.

They both ignore Gokudera's irritated mumbling ( _"Why does_ she _get a hug?"_ ), and after a long moment, Haru pulls away completely, amused by Tsuna's exasperated, slightly flushed face.

"Now that that's over with," Tsuna says, after coughing to clear his throat, "I would like to walk you home, Miura-san. It would be remiss of me to leave you like this when it's partly my fault you got wet in the first place." He looks at Haru, still shivering and clothes soaked, clearly concerned and guilty that Haru ended up like this, but-

Haru can barely feel the cold. His care and concern for her has warmed her to her very core. She was half-joking about the crush and Tsuna's pure heart, self-aware enough to know her thoughts have a tendency to get away from her, but... Maybe it's not all an exaggeration. Maybe there's the spark of something, a small thing, easily snuffed out, but _there_ , growing and getting stronger with every kind gesture and reassuring word.

Maybe, just maybe...

"Thank you, Tsuna-san," she says, smiling happily. "Haru would appreciate it."

**III.**

It doesn't take long to reach her house, just a few minutes, but she lingers in front of it, not wanting to go in just yet. Sensing this, Tsuna shares a look with Gokudera, who nods unhappily and stalks off to wait.

"Um, Tsuna-san, about earlier..." She says, hesitantly, and Tsuna turns to give her his full attention, recognizing such a thing as uncharacteristic even after only knowing her for a short time. Haru steels herself and bows, yelling, "Haru apologizes for her actions up until now! Haru was wrong!"

"You don't have to do that," Tsuna says, sounding uncomfortable as he tugs on her shoulder, and she obligingly stands up from the bow. He smiles, awkwardly but with understanding. "It's fine, really. Besides, I know why you were so upset, and were Reborn anyone else, were there actually a baby being mistreated in such a way, I'd be just as upset and just as willing to throw punches."

Haru asks, hopefully, uncertainly, "Really?"

"Of course," Tsuna nods, smile more sure and bright, dazzling in its sincerity, and Haru's heart skips a beat. "In fact, I think it's a testament to your character, Miura-san, that you'd get so protective and defensive over a baby you just met and that you were willing to go far as to fight me for him." He laughs, a nice sound, and adds, teasing, "Though you might have been a bit reckless." (Elsewhere, in different places all over town, certain people get the sudden urge to hit something.)

Blushing at the praise and the teasing, Haru agrees sheepishly, "Maybe. But Haru doesn't regret it. Haru had no way of knowing if you were telling the truth, after all." That's one thing she won't back down on. Maybe she _was_ impulsive and reckless, but she had good intentions, and she's already apologized and been forgiven for the trouble she caused. No point regretting things that can't be changed.

"Fair enough," Tsuna says, and that's that. He glances over to where Gokudera is waiting impatiently for them to finish, far enough away that he can't hear them but not so far he can't leap to Tsuna's defense, and he sighs. "I should get going." He offers Haru another smile and says, warmly, "It was nice meeting you, Miura-san."

She beams back at him, pleased. "You as well, Tsuna-san! But call me Haru! We're friends now, right?"

Tsuna blinks at her in surprise, but it's gone quickly, replaced by genuine delight. "In that case, please drop the formality. In my experience, friends are hardly ever so polite," he says, fondly.

"Haru will, Tsuna-kun!" She chirps and then remembers her half-formed plans of love and marriage earlier, silliness aside. "But Haru also wants to be a part of your Family, desu!"

"I'm sure that was Reborn's plan all along," Tsuna tells her, wryly. "Regardless, I have no objections, and I'm sure Kyoko-chan will be thrilled to meet you. She's one of my best friends," he explains when Haru tilts her head in question. He glances at Gokudera again, who's shooting Haru suspicious looks of his own every few seconds, and sighs a second time, though Haru can spot the affection in his eyes. "I'll see you later, Haru-chan," he says with another smile before he walks over to Gokudera, who lights up like a puppy when Tsuna calls out to him.

Haru's not much better, just as excited and pleased by Tsuna's affectionate address for her. She lets out a joyful whoop and fist pumps, so happy it's almost like she didn't stay up all night, almost drown in the river, and miss her first two classes today.

...Oh. That reminder is enough to make her shriek in panic as she rushes inside to shower, get dressed, and run to school before she's even more late. Even when she gets scolded for it later, however, she can't help thinking the day was a huge success.

**IV.**

Once she befriends Tsuna, Haru has fun everyday. There's always something new and exciting going on around him, a harmless (for the most part) kind of chaos, and she _loves_ it. She especially loves finding a best friend and kindred spirit in Sasagawa Kyoko and being able to play with and dote on Lambo and I-Pin to her heart's content.

Life was never dull or lacking before, but now that she has this one full of Family and friends and adventure, she can't even imagine going back to one without. Life really would be dull and lacking then, Haru is not at all embarrassed to admit.

That's why when Tsuna and everyone run off to fight Rokudo Mukuro, a criminal who has hurt so many people - even _Ryohei_ \- and leave Haru to look after the kids, she _hates_ it. She really, truly hates it, in a way Haru has never hated anything before. Then again, she's never before experienced such stark terror, such fear, such overwhelming worry and cold anticipation.

The worst part is the waiting, the not knowing if they're okay or if they're injured or _worse_. Not knowing if she should take Lambo and I-Pin and run, or if she should hide them away and go check things for herself. No one thinks to call and give her any sort of news, good or bad, and Haru only finds out what happened hours after the fighting is over and everyone's been treated at the hospital.

Hours of pacing and biting her nails and reassuring the children that everything is fine when she has no way of knowing if she's lying or being stupidly optimistic or if her friends really are okay, and all this worrying is for nothing.

Hours of such high stress that she wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly developed heart disease.

It's agonizing, and she decides she's never going through that again. Not _ever._ The only way to not be left behind next time is to learn how to fight, and unlike Kyoko, who had confided in her that she'd despised fighting of any kind before that incident with her brother and Tsuna that changed everything, Haru has no qualms with it. She's never seen a problem with throwing a punch or a good slap if the situation calls for it, and studying fighting formally just means she'll be much more likely to land a hit and have it be effective.

Unlike most of her decisions, which she makes on the fly, trusting her gut instinct, she has plenty of time to think this one through while she waits for everyone to come back safely, and she only becomes more and more sure that it's the right one as the day drags on.

The only hiccup comes in the form of her stupidly noble friend, who has got to be the most selfishly selfless person Haru's ever met. Never before has Haru empathized with the minor characters in movies who have to talk sense into their idiotic friend, the hero of the story, and try to stop them from doing everything alone, but now she knows how they feel. Personally speaking, it's a crappy job. It's like talking to a brick wall!

When she first befriended Tsuna and subsequently met everyone else, she didn't quite understand the pitying looks they gave her, which increased every time Haru waxed poetic about Tsuna's heroics. It didn't take long for her to get it, though.

Not two days after the river fiasco did Tsuna throw himself in front of a moving car to save a petrified kitten, only barely managing to not get hit. Not long after that, he confronted men with actual, real _guns_ who were threatening this elderly couple with only a wooden practice sword and no plan whatsoever! He almost got shot! A bullet even grazed his arm, but he just got that womanizing doctor to patch him up and then went right back to patrolling the next day.

The incidents and near misses have only continued to pile up, and because of that, she also quickly understood why Tsuna is rarely seen without Gokudera and Yamamoto and everyone. Who knows what kind of trouble he would willingly throw himself into without someone there to watch out for him?

It's not necessarily a bad thing that Tsuna is so dead set on helping people. Most of his good deeds come in the form of helping little, old ladies carry groceries or helping small business owners move boxes or even helping organize and shelve books at the library. Goody-Two-Shoes Tsuna isn't his nickname for nothing. It's just that the reckless, heart attack inducing stunts he pulls are making Haru and everyone else go prematurely _grey_.

But whatever. Fine. Tsuna is Tsuna, and they're not going to try to change him, even if they haven't given up on knocking sense into him. He's going to be fighting and throwing himself into crazy situations for the rest of his life, and they've all just accepted it.

On the other hand, it's beyond irritating that he's so adamant about _them_ not fighting. Tsuna's her friend, and he may even be her boss once he's officially inherited Vongola, but even so, he doesn't get to tell her to sit on the sidelines. He doesn't get to keep her out of things when he doesn't think twice about rushing headlong into danger himself, when he's accepted her into the Family and Mafia stuff and everything that comes with it.

Haru has accepted that for there to be fun, carefree days spent with her friends, there also have to be scary, dangerous days where she and her friends fight to get back to them.

But she _will_ fight, and there's not a single thing Tsuna can do about it.

**V.**

Deciding that he's Tsuna now is all well and good, but evidently, actually separating the two identities is not going to be an easy task. Granted, it's only been a little over three days since he regained his- _Arthur's_ memories, so it's understandable he isn't able to lock everything away and move on with his life immediately.

It's just that Arthur is a part of him, a large part, because his twenty-four years' worth of memories dwarfs Tsuna's fourteen, and he finds himself subconsciously drawing on Arthur's past experiences and comparing them to the present.

It's not a problem, technically speaking, or it wouldn't be if Arthur had gone to some sort of afterlife and had time to come to terms with his death and the circumstances that led to it. As it is, he's still grieving, still reeling from betrayal and horror and heartbreak, and Tsuna can't convince himself that those feelings aren't _his_ , that it wasn't _his_ wife and best friend that betrayed his trust, that it wasn't _his_ sister and daughter that plotted his downfall and orchestrated his death, that it wasn't his own followers that turned against him for the very things they'd once praised so highly and flocked to his side for.

He can't convince himself he's not _Arthur_ , that he's no longer that same horribly betrayed, foolish, idealistic, cold man, whose hands are forever dyed red, whose mistakes could rival the embellishments added into his own legend with every retelling, whose list of regrets has no end.

It _hurts_ , and until he can find some sort of equilibrium, it's going to keep hurting, like some vicious wound ripped open again and again. Like the fatal wound that killed him, unable to close, unable to heal- Because Tsuna is refusing to deal with it, and Arthur is too caught up in his own emotions to try, and that doesn't even make sense because they're the same person, but-

This is the reality of the situation, and Tsuna's not the only one suffering for it. Earlier, with his friends, that was a _disaster_. Tsuna doesn't want his friends to get hurt because of him, true, but he's never been so- so expectant, so sure, so certain that that his friends will bow to his every command. He's never been so shocked when they disagreed, nor so dismayed by them fighting.

Tsuna knows his friends are strong and capable, and they don't have to prove anything to him. As much as he dislikes it, much as it worries him, they don't have to listen to him when he asks that they stay behind when it comes to the truly dangerous stuff. They stand beside him and fight with him because they choose to, because they want to, because he's their friend too, and they want to help him and protect him any way they can.

Tsuna understands that, that they're _equals_ , and as such, he's never tried to boss them around or impose his will upon them. He's never wanted to, and yet, that's exactly what he was trying to do earlier.

And he knows why. Arthur spent almost ten years as king, as the uncontested, unrivaled ruler of Britain (until the end, anyway), and he's all too accustomed to ordering people around and having those orders be fulfilled unhesitatingly and without question. All too used to treating his men as soldiers first and people second.

Arthur had friends in his knights, of course, but though the Round Table's lack of a head was supposed to symbolize equality, he was placed upon a pedestal by them too, all but untouchable on the other side of an invisible wall which he'd never tried to breach or given much thought to but that was always present, always emphasizing the sharp divide between Arthur and the rest of the world.

As Arthur, he'd thought this acceptable. Kings weren't human, after all, so they _should be_ separate from the rest of humanity. He'd had this kind of thinking from the start, so perhaps it's no wonder all of his closest bonds were so easily shattered. There was genuine love and care for Gwen and his knights, but even a castle will crumble and fall when built upon such a weak foundation.

Unknowingly, Tsuna was heavily influenced by Arthur back there, slipping into the role of king without even noticing, and it took some time for Tsuna to reel it back in, to tuck everything away and out of sight before he mucked things up even more.

He was doing... a decent enough job of it before Haru sprung her newfound resolve on him, and Tsuna was abruptly jolted into the last memory he has of Guinevere, that last painful conversation ( _"I didn't want to hurt you, Arthur."_ _Oh, but you did, Gwen. Oh but you did_ ), that last glimpse of her hard, tear-stained face, that wretched, terrible ache in his chest where Gwen's unrepentant, uncaring words lodged and ripped and _tore_ -

It's really no surprise that Tsuna's stopgap measures to stem the tide of grief and sorrow don't last, and finally, finally he allows himself to let it out, to let it all out in tears and sobs and thoughts he'd shoved deep, deep down and ignored until now. _'I'm so sorry'_ and _'I regret my actions, but you were wrong too'_ and the most insistent, the most terrible:

_'I didn't want to die.'_

Reborn's presence helps, as well as his promise, a glaring divide between what Tsuna was and what he is now because never has anyone promised Arthur something like that. Always, he had to bear everything alone, sins and blood and decisions and lives, and he never asked or wanted someone to bear his burdens for him- and this is perhaps one of the starkest differences between them.

Arthur would never accept such a promise, thinking it his duty to live and rule and die alone, but Tsuna would and does, gratefully, happily, understanding that he is only ever truly strong when he has friends to share everything with, to fight and die, and most importantly, live for. It's something Tsuna has always instinctively understood and a truth which Arthur had never really been able to grasp.

Knowing this, it's much easier to nudge and push aside the stray bits and pieces of Arthur leaking out and over everything, to pull together all that's purely Tsuna and think only Tsuna's thoughts. To wipe his eyes and smile warmly at Reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi and no one else.

"I'm an idiot," Tsuna says, _only_ Tsuna, and that's enough to curb the lingering grief and tinge his tone with dry humor.

Reborn smirks at him. "Now you're getting it."

Tsuna rolls his eyes, but the amusement fades as he glances at the closed door with regret. "I shouldn't have just brushed everyone off and walked away like that," he says. "I didn't mean to worry them. Next time, I-"

"Won't try to pretend there's nothing wrong and put on a brave front, right?" Reborn butts in, reproving, and Tsuna winces because that's exactly what Arthur always did, and the instinct is still there. "A Mafia boss is supposed to have an unreadable poker face and no known weaknesses, but that's for enemies and allies. Bosses should also be able to trust their Family with their lives _and_ their problems. If they can't, it's not a true Family."

Tsuna smiles ruefully, thinks of Arthur's loneliness, of his friends and supporters turning on him, of the cries of 'inhuman' and 'unfeeling' that had been flung at him by even those closest to him. "Consider that lesson learned." When Reborn's expression grows dark again, Tsuna continues, wanting to distract him, "I was going to say: Next time, I'll explain things properly. Not everything, but they deserve better. For now, I should apologize."

And he does.

"Apology accepted, so long as you don't try to stop Haru again," Haru says, trying for stern but unable to maintain her irritation now that the source of it is gone.

Solemn, Tsuna lays a hand over his chest, awkwardly because of his crutches. "I won't, not again. I promise." She smiles at him, pleased, and Tsuna smiles back gratefully.

"Well, I was never mad, but I accept too," Takeshi chimes in, cheerful even as he takes in Tsuna's reddened eyes and disheveled hair and carefully sets the observation aside for later. Tsuna nods at him.

Ryohei raises a crutch and waves it, yelling, "I'm extremely okay with it as long as you let me in on your super secret training, Sawada!"

"...Okay?" Tsuna agrees, shooting Reborn a questioning look, but he gets no help at all there.

Kyoko favors him with a warm smile and says, "I accept, but if you try to stop me from going with you again..." She trails off and giggles. "Who knows what I'll do?"

"...Noted." Tsuna grimaces, reminded of an entirely different traumatic memory involving Mochida Kensuke and an angry, vindictive Kyoko. He had it coming, but still...

Last but not least (because Kyoya surely left as soon as Tsuna did), Gokudera beams at Tsuna and says, "No need to apologize, Juudaime! I understand your concerns, but as your right-hand man, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth!"

Warmed and fond and a little awed, Tsuna smiles at him. "Thank you, Gokudera-kun. I appreciate it." And Gokudera positively glows. "Thank all of you. Your friendship and support really mean a lot to me. I'm not sure what I ever did to deserve you," he tells them, sincerely, making sure to meet each of their eyes, including Reborn, and gets matching smiles in return.

He really has the best friends in the world, and gods, but Tsuna doesn't want to lose them. He just has to make sure they all get stronger together, and stepping up their training once they're all healed is a good way to do it.

Luckily, Reborn can always be counted on (for everything but also) for crazy but effective training. He glances at him in question, and understanding him as always even without words, Reborn nods, smirking, and Tsuna knows they're in good (if slightly sadistic) hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my headcanons is that Ryohei and Haru are both self-aware enough to know that their exuberance and oddities are a little unusual and that they aren't always received well. They're just not bothered by it. I also figure that Haru's crush was only half-serious at the beginning but was possibly reinforced as she got to know Tsuna and went through hardships with him. Again, though, there will be no pairings, and the crush will probably fade over time since it mostly has by the present time anyway.
> 
> \- Sorry things didn't diverge from canon much, but Haru's like a force of nature, and Tsuna wasn't willing to resort to violence, figuring he could clear up the misunderstanding if he just got her to listen. Also since Tsuna isn't playing the straight man - i.e. the sane guy reacting to everyone's craziness - and is in fact always putting himself in danger, everyone else is picking up the slack, I guess. They know it's not a game, so they're treating things more seriously.
> 
> \- Tsuna's a smart cookie and is trying to learn from Arthur's mistakes, so while the whole selfishly selfless thing isn't resolved, he knows he needs to rely on his friends and let them help him. It's a work in progress.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think!


	6. answer our call in desperate hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus! I didn't mean to take this long to update. I struggled with this chapter so much, it's ridiculous. Words have long since lost all meaning for me, so if stuff doesn't make sense, that's why. Felt like I was writing a particularly grueling essay, and much like then, I'm all but throwing this at you and hoping for the best bc there's nothing more I can do. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Will fix any mistakes later (& I get the feeling there's more than one ugh). Speaking of mistakes...
> 
> Warnings: There are threats that involve bombing a school and committing suicide via bombs strapped to one's chest, as well as discussion of someone's suicidal tendencies. No children or school staff are ever in any real danger, and main characters are only in danger of canon-typical violence. [I couldn't decide if this was horribly inappropriate or par for the course in a fic involving Mafioso, and if it is a problem or in poor taste, then please let me know. I will rewrite it.]
> 
> Thanks for your lovely feedback last chapter! Please enjoy the product of my blood, sweat, and tears.

**I.**

Hayato has never had friends, nor has he belonged to a true family, Mafia or otherwise. He had precious little time with his mother, but-

But he's been down that road enough times to know it only leads to more boiling anger and bitterness and no satisfaction whatsoever, so he puts the stray thought aside, treating it as dynamite, an explosive ready to go off at the tiniest upset, and tucks it away safely in the corner of his mind where he won't trip over it again.

Back to his point. Hayato has been on his own for a while, never mind his worthless father's insistence on keeping an eye on him and his sister's occasional meddling. He's used to looking after himself, has hardened and wisened up after plunging full force into the Mafia, after taking jobs and witnessing the cruelty and mercilessness of this world that he's now forever a part of firsthand, after tirelessly working hard to make a name for himself.

Hayato has never had illusions as to the true nature of this life ( _not since his father-_ ) and knows that friends can smile and party with you one day and then stab you in the back at the first opportunity. He grows up in it, surrounded by people who would use him for his connections and money, who watch him for weakness, who pretend to be friendly, hoping for some advantage, and those who don't bother, sneering at his heritage.

He learns how to read people, how to find trustworthy sources, learns which jobs to take and which to avoid at all costs. Learns how to shut out his emotions and soldier on anyway when avoiding isn't an option. Learns how to put his name out there and reel in better money and better clients.

Some of it is freely given advice ("Never trust anyone fully, Hayato. Give too much, and you'll leave yourself vulnerable. Give too little, and you'll find yourself with more enemies than allies.") and most of it is through trial and error.

Hayato knows he is lucky that he has never stepped on the wrong toes or taken his temper out on the wrong person (because his sources are not perfect or all-encompassing, and his sharp mind has a way of failing him when his anger gets the better of him.) He's lucky to have survived so long in such a bloody, unforgiving business, knows it's all due to luck and his own effort - because his father doesn't care, and Bianchi believes the best way to learn is to figure things out for himself - and things are fine like this. Hayato is fine.

Then he gets unbelievably lucky again when Reborn - the world's strongest hitman, one of the Arcobaleno! - calls him for a job, and he comes face to face with Vongola's next boss.

The first thing he thinks without bias or judgement is that Sawada Tsunayoshi is bright. Not in the sense that he's intelligent, though Hayato has been briefed and knows he's far from unintelligent. It's just that he's so bright as to be blinding. It's all Hayato can do not to squint, not to look away because Sawada is like a star or a small sun. A bright, blue, inviting sky that draws you in as soon as your eyes adjust and before reason can warn you away.

He's _dangerous_ . It's something his mind knows, but alarmingly, his instincts all but scream to trust Sawada, to open himself up fully and without reservation, and is this the charisma of a Sky? Is this the allure of harmony? If so, Hayato can see why he's been deemed worthy of leading Vongola, aside from being the last viable heir. Can see it almost instantly, and a small part of him wonders whether Hayato's part in evaluating him is even necessary.

Hayato wouldn't be worth anything in the Mafia world if he gave up on a job part way through - or worse, before even trying to complete it - however, and this is _Vongola_ , so he hangs back and continues to observe from afar, gathering as much information as he can with his own eyes and puzzling over his role for the next few days before making a move.

Inevitably, he spots the problem. 'Problem' is a strong word, though, and not entirely accurate. Rather, he understands why there are some concerns regarding Sawada despite his being a perfect fit at first - and even second - glance.

He's... the antithesis of a Mafia boss.

Sawada is kind. More than that, Sawada is good. Like, dashing hero, fairy tale prince, white knight in shining armor good. Hayato hasn't necessarily met that many Mafia bosses, but he's heard things and can extrapolate for himself that Sawada can't be Mafia - can't be Vongola Decimo - without also occasionally being cruel and merciless. Not evil, exactly, but- Vongola Nono is as close to 'good' as a boss can get, but even he has innocent blood on his hands. Even he has weighed lives and sacrificed others and made impossibly difficult decisions.

Sawada... It's a truth that could break him, and well- Hayato understands what he has to do.

**II.**

Simple enough to plant bombs around the school when he only really has to keep an eye out for the Hibari. Hayato's a professional, after all, and bombs are his specialty. As for Sawada, he only goes after bullies, and Hayato has already scrapped his half-formed plans of pretending to be one in favor of his new objective. He's not even on Sawada's radar.

Not yet, but he soon will be.

Before school, Hayato slips a note in his shoe locker, short and to the point, and as he'd predicted, Sawada comes barreling out of the building not long after the bell rings, signalling the beginning of both class and Hayato's scheme.

"Took you long enough," Hayato sneers around his cigarette, eying Sawada who comes to halt a few meters away and watches him warily right back. He's got his shinai with him, but it's a close range weapon, and Hayato's a long range fighter. The distance between them is more than enough of an advantage, but Hayato's not aiming for a fight.

What he _is_ aiming for leaves a bad taste in his mouth, but this isn't the first mission that's forced him to go against his very few morals, and it won't be the last. So he sucks it up and does his damn job.

Face pale but focused, Sawada asks, quietly, "So you're the one who left the note?"

"See anybody else here?" Hayato snaps, rolling his eyes, but before Sawada can respond, he yanks open his jacket, revealing the explosives strapped to his chest and answering his question more immediately and more effectively than words ever could.

The sight makes visible panic flash on Sawada's face before he swallows it down forcibly and glares at Hayato, mouth a hard line. "Who are you?"

"They call me Smoking Bomb," Hayato reveals, and he's not surprised when Sawada doesn't recognize the name. Sawada is a civilian and has only recently discovered the Mafia. He lets the small bit of derision he feels at the thought show through the curl of his lip. "You can probably guess why."

Sawada's eyes flick down to the bomb before meeting his again. "So this is Mafia related," he concludes, grimly.

"Obviously," Hayato sneers, biting down on his cigarette. "Your right to inherit has come into question. I'm here to judge your worthiness."

Sawada makes a complicated expression, full of frustration and bewilderment and something else Hayato can't name. "And this is the way you're going about it?"

"Me or your Family," Hayato agrees, blithely. "A Boss has to prioritize his own over anyone else, especially enemies. Useless sentiment will get you killed. Worse, it'll get them killed, and you'll have nothing to show for it."

Sawada's face hardens, his opinion on the matter loud and clear, but- his next words are baffling. "What about you? Shouldn't you prioritize your own life over a test?"

"I was always going to die doing this," Hayato tells him, and this, at least, is the truth. "This mission is a gamble, but no matter what you choose to do, I'll get recognition. I don't care about anything else."

He doesn't want to die, obviously, but he's also realistic. What are the chances that he doesn't die on some other job or facing some other target? What are the odds he ends up dying of _old age_ of all things? There's always someone stronger out there, always someone smarter or faster or better prepared. He doesn't like it, doesn't usually let himself admit it, and he intends to go down fighting regardless- but he knows what he signed up for. He's already accepted it, and he doesn't like the way Sawada has gone all sad and intent and contemplative upon hearing him say as much.

"Recognition?" Sawada repeats, and his tone is not mocking or derisive, but there is some judgement there, and it makes Hayato bristle. "From who? Your Family? Friends? The Mafia world in general?" Hayato doesn't answer, doesn't react beyond a slight grimace, but Sawada must take something away from it anyway. Even so, he doesn't comment. "Doesn't seem like something to lose your life over," he says instead, and it sends a prickle of rage through Hayato's chest.

"What would you know about it?" He snarls, and he doesn't have to fake the anger this time, the indignation, that small bit of envy-fueled irritation. "Your life is practically perfect already, and now you're being handed the opportunity of a lifetime on a damn silver platter." His grip on the dynamite in his hands is white-knuckled, but they're too well made for such a small thing to set them off. He still eases up, loosens his grip because Hayato's a professional, and pros don't risk damaging their own weapons, especially not at such a crucial stage.

" _Someone_ has to make you work for it," Hayato spits, shaking with repressed emotion, a bomb on the verge of exploding, and Hayato's always preferred dynamite for a reason. He can relate to the build up, the pressure, the sudden, controlled release. His fuse is shorter than most. As it is, he's always only needed a spark to ignite.

Somehow sensing as much, Sawada hesitates noticeably before speaking. It's certainly not because Hayato's making him reconsider his own ideals.

"I can't argue with that," Sawada allows, and at least he isn't denying it. "But at the same time, it's not my fault I was born privileged. I _have_ been trying to use my own circumstances to help those less fortunate than me, as you must know if you've been watching me." Here, he pauses again, and conviction steels over his face, bright and burning as he finds Hayato's gaze and holds it and says, "With or without Vongola, I will continue to do so. Vongola is an excellent opportunity to gain more influence and resources, to gain the power to help even more people, however, and I refuse to apologize for seizing it with both hands."

He's not saying anything Hayato didn't already know about him, but still, seeing Sawada's resolve for himself soothes the rage-envy-resentment coiled within his chest, loosens a bit of the tight hold it has on his throat, and his next words come easier. "If you believe that," he says, even though Sawada's belief is clear, his compassion so obvious, and... his weakness a glaring target, "if you're so determined to save people, then you've got a decision to make, and it's not a difficult one."

Sea-green eyes flash burnished red-orange, and the look Sawada gives him- like he's seeing right down into Hayato's soul, expression calm and _knowing_ \- It takes considerable effort not to look away, even as his confusion mixes with indignant anger.

"What?!" He snaps.

"Your life is worth no less than any of the children in that building behind me," Sawada says, and the panic has somehow edged out of him, replaced by cool certainty. "Your life is precious, Smoking Bomb, and I'm... **furious** with those who convinced you it wasn't." His words are trembling with that fury, his mouth pulled down under it, his eyes a steady red-orange that doesn't seem to be fading away this time, flickering with rage-fueled resolve.

"You-!" Hayato starts and just as abruptly stops, having had no idea what he was going to say. Sawada makes no goddamn sense! "There's a limit to how fucking fairy tale you can be, Sawada, and worrying about the guy who's threatening to bomb your school is way over it." That's entirely too far in the realm of stupidity, and Sawada isn't stupid. Just- ridiculously compassionate, which isn't exactly a trait Mafia bosses are known for having. And it's not something Hayato appreciates being wasted on him. He doesn't need it.

"The bombs are fake," Sawada says, confidently, with no room for doubt, and Hayato can't help the shock taking over his face at the revelation. "You never intended to harm a single innocent, and regardless, I had my friends quietly evacuate the school as soon as I read your letter. Everyone has been sent home by now," he admits, and-

Hayato had accounted for that. He'd just planned to go forward with 'blowing himself up' anyway to hammer his point in because evacuating the building was Sawada prioritizing his Family's safety over Hayato's and thus was a clear choice. That plan's shot all to hell now, though, because somehow, Sawada figured out none of them were real to begin with.

"What really concerns me is that your disregard for your own life is all too real," Sawada continues, and he definitely looks concerned and maybe one step away from marching over and hugging him, which- _why_? "I'd like to help you if I can," he says, earnestly, and he _means_ it. He really wants to help Hayato, really cares about him despite having only just met him, despite what Hayato tried to force him to do, cares in a way no has since his mother-

It's too much. It's too much and far, far too late. Hayato has a job to do, and he's going to do it, no matter what. Swiftly lighting the dynamite in between his fingers, Hayato yells, "Shut up and die!" and carefully doesn't think about anything but the ever-burning anger beneath his skin as he throws himself into the familiar rhythm of ignite-throw-dodge.

Fighting in such a haze, it's not really a surprise when he messes up, and there's just resignation as his own bombs threaten to explode at his feet.

What _is_ surprising is that Sawada risks his life to save him. In the face of such a thing, of such selfless heroics and bravery, in the face of this unpayable debt, the only thing Hayato _can_ do is swear his life and service to this boy.

(It doesn't take a genius to realize Reborn-sama was testing him, too, vetting him for a potential Family member, and considering Hayato is, well, it's possible he makes the connection a little quicker than most.

It's also possible Juudaime isn't the only one whom Hayato owes a great debt.)

**III.**

There's something going on with Juudaime. Hayato wouldn't dare claim they were friends - he respects Juudaime too much to be so casual with him, and even the thought makes him a little lightheaded - but as his right hand man, it's Hayato's job to know Juudaime inside and out, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that something has happened.

Juudaime isn't loud and constantly yammering like that Turf Head, nor does he rudely butt in on conversations and make inane statements all the time like the Baseball Idiot. But he's not usually this quiet and withdrawn, either. Ever since his (utterly unnecessary) apology, Juudaime has spoken a bare handful of sentences, most of them to Reborn-sama, who has a connection with Juudaime no one else has managed.

(A fact that, if he's being honest with himself, makes Hayato burn with jealousy.

Almost as bad is the way Yamamoto's cheerful disregard for personal boundaries and easy, companionable nature has clearly won over Juudaime whereas Hayato's reverential behavior and aggressive proactiveness in regards to his safety only makes Juudaime exasperated at best and inexplicably _sad_ at worst.

Hayato has had a scant few months to make a place at Juudaime's side, but it seems impossibly difficult at times when he looks around and sees that so many have already come before him and accomplished it with such ease.)

"You noticed, too," Yamamoto says quietly next to him, and when Hayato shoots him an annoyed look, he finds Yamamoto's demeanor uncharacteristically serious, eyes narrowed in thought in Juudaime's general direction and lips pressed together tightly.

The whole picture is so wrong that Hayato can't help the uneasiness coiling in his gut in reaction, the slight concern, and pissed - Yamamoto ruins every-fucking-thing, even being worried about their damn boss - Hayato scoffs, falling into their usual banter with a dismissive, "It has nothing to do with you, dumbass."

"Tsuna's gotten…" He pauses, ignoring Hayato altogether as he tries to figure out what exactly he wants to say. Frown deepening, Yamamoto settles on, "Tsuna's gotten _sad_ ," and it's clear that's not exactly what he means, but Yamamoto _is_ an idiot, and that's only to be expected.

The problem is that Hayato knows what he's trying - and failing, so damn horribly - to say.

Juudaime has always seemed larger than life, a being assailed by great purpose, and that's something Hayato greatly admires about him. However, the higher one's aspirations, it seems, the heavier they weigh on one's shoulders. Juudaime has also always been rooted firmly to the ground, both held up and held down by his noble dream, never once unaware of its presence and never once caving under its immense pressure.

Now, though- Now, somehow that weight has gotten heavier. Now it's _obvious_ , and even though Juudaime's back is still straight, and his head is still held high, it's as if he's more aware of the enormity of the task before him, the gravitas. As if he's fully realized he's at the foot of a mountain, its peak disappeared behind a barrier of clouds, and that he has a long, long journey ahead - a journey fraught with strife and obstacles to overcome and an entire world that likes things just the way they are and won't be content to sit back and let Juudaime change things for the better.

Hayato has admittedly worried for Juudaime's soft heart. As much as he believes in Juudaime's fierce determination and unwavering resolve, Juudaime has lived a relatively sheltered life here in Namimori, and as such, he has a... naivete about him, a belief that there is good in just about everyone and that villains are the only ones capable of doing truly evil deeds. And- that may be true of civilians, possibly, but the Mafia is different.

Hayato thinks back to Vongola Nono, a good man who has undoubtedly dirtied his hands, who has committed 'evil' acts or else ordered his men to in order to protect his Family and allies, and knows that he would do the same without hesitation. Has already done the same to protect himself, and he doesn't regret it. Can't because this is the life he chose, and he's never wanted to do anything else.

Juudaime is a much better person than Hayato could ever be, is the best person Hayato knows, and he wouldn't change him for the world, but-

But in their world, things aren't always so easy. Sacrifices _must_ be made, even if that means occasionally sacrificing one's morals. No one in the Mafia can be wholly good, and not everyone is wholly evil. Hayato has been wracking his brain for a way to make Juudaime understand this at the same time he's been putting it off and dreading Juudaime finding out on his own. But-

Somehow, it's happened without him even knowing. Somehow, Juudaime has gained that understanding. Somehow, some of the innocence in his eyes has gone, their light dimmed, his faith in humanity shaken, and-

And it's _heartbreaking_. God, but it hurts just _looking_ at him. But that's not all.

Juudaime looks at _them_ like they're a miracle, an unexpected treasure, an awesome gift he can hardly believe exists, and Hayato can't help becoming utterly _pissed_ every time those sea-green eyes land on him.

Because Juudaime has no reason to _ever_ look like that. Because the only reason someone _would_ is because something happened to make them believe that such friendship and loyalty _has_ to be treasured. Something like losing both. Something like _betrayal._

_(Something Hayato is intimately familiar with.)_

He doesn't know when it happened or how. Doesn't know the circumstances or time frame, even if Reborn-sama seems to. His only question is- The only thing Hayato _needs_ to know is this:

**Who does he need to kill?**

Yamamoto's expression grows grim and faintly murderous upon seeing his own, and even without any words between them, he knows Yamamoto agrees with him. In this, at least, Hayato will welcome the help.

**IV.**

As he watches one of his closest friends go toe to toe with a master of martial arts, with an _Arcobaleno_ , cheerful and determined and not even a little bit perturbed that she keeps getting tossed into the dirt, Tsuna finds himself thinking that Haru is amazing.

He knew that already, of course. She's fierce and proud and tough, doesn't give a damn what people think, forges her own path with an unbreakable will and an unwavering belief in herself, and is all the stronger for it. She knows her flaws, plays to her strengths, and refuses to apologize for the kind of confidence that comes with knowing one's self so intimately. Tsuna wishes he was half as strong as Haru is, or that he was even marginally as comfortable in his own skin.

He hadn't quite managed it before, but now-

Now that he's had time to sort through everything, now that he's not clinging to any semblance of composure and on the verge of a breakdown, it's actually _more_ difficult to distinguish himself from his past self. A good sign, he hopes, because trying to separate the two felt uncomfortably like tearing himself in half, and it never lasted long. He's Arthur _and_ Tsuna, and rejecting that part of him probably isn't remotely healthy. Certainly not if the intense headache he gets every time he tries means anything. The last one was so bad, he couldn't stop himself from clutching his head in pain, and the panicking and borderline aggressive nursing he had to endure afterwards was more than enough to evoke a change in mindset. Tsuna has no wish to give his friends even more reason to worry, after all.

(And no wish to endure Ryohei's terribly efficient and downright frightening mother-henning.)

It's not easy accepting Arthur's lonely, pained existence, and his death will surely haunt Tsuna's dreams for some time, but- There was more to Arthur than betrayal and heartache and sorrow. There was more to his reign than backstabbing and anarchy and pointless death. There was peace and prosperity and family and friends who loved him.

(The memories of laughter and merriment are ones Tsuna holds onto in the midst of all the recrimination and regret, those precious people held just as dear as his friends and family here and now. Their bravery and camaraderie and loyalty will never be forgotten, no matter how many lifetimes he lives to see. Arthur as Tsuna could do no less for those who held faith in him to the very end.)

With acceptance comes understanding, and suddenly, Tsuna _gets_ things he'd not quite grasped before. Suddenly, he's thinking like _Arthur_.

Arthur, who was a formidable tactician and leader of a country for almost a decade, who fought and bled and died beside his men on the battlefield, who fought for and believed in honor and glory and the codes of chivalry.

Arthur, who looks at Tsuna, at his near misses and close calls and clumsy attempts at plans and effortlessly comes up with strategies that would have minimized danger and guaranteed success. Who gently corrects assumptions and points out details Tsuna had missed, things he hadn't accounted for or even known to look for with the wry attitude of one who has been in Tsuna's position before and understands completely.

(Merlin, Tsuna thinks- or remembers. Mentor, grandfather figure, old friend.

There's pain there, lingering regret for things left unsaid, for not seeking Merlin out for counsel on matters he really should have, for not keeping in touch with the man those last years of his reign, so convinced was he that he needed no help.

But for the most part, he thinks of Merlin and remembers joy and laughter and the old man's odd sense of humor and odder fondness for the strange and mystical. Remembers adventure and magic and fun. Remembers gentle admonitions, rants turned tangents that dragged on and on, Merlin's steadfast belief that Arthur was a worthy student and the rightful king.

He misses Merlin most of all, truthfully, misses his friend who never would have betrayed him, who taught him and guided him and made him, who knew more than anyone that Arthur was hardly a man without emotion, despite Arthur trying so desperately to pretend that he was, despite everyone's belief that he was. Misses him with a fervor he'd not thought himself capable of there at the end.

But Arthur is dead, and Merlin is out of reach, and Tsuna is getting used to sadness and grief and regret. Getting used to it and hopefully getting over it. He's got great friends and family and a new mentor who knows and understands him, after all.

All he needs now is time.)

It's not as though there's another voice inside his head because those thoughts are _his_ , but it is strange to feel both sheepish of and amused by _himself_ , as if he's a grown man looking back at childhood memories when in fact the events he's ruminating on are quite recent.

Tsuna hadn't quite realized that he was being reckless with his own life, but now, he can't help but look back at his past actions and cringe. He was... cocky, he supposes, confident in his hard-earned skills and utterly committed to putting them to use. He accounted for risks, and he never jumped into a hopeless situation, never stepped in and helped when his efforts would be for nothing, instead leaving the matter to the police or to Kyoya and his Disciplinary Committee, all whom have more manpower and have trained for such things. But perhaps, he could have done with a little more caution, a little more planning. A little more than determination and faith and the hope that his resolve would see him through.

Reborn has yet to go over strategy with him, focusing instead on training up his body and instincts and sword skills, on stuffing European history and everything Mafia and Vongola into his head. And for all that he's studied about knights and warriors, for all that he's been fighting for years, Tsuna is still a civilian child. Battle tactics are not something he's been able to learn on his own.

It's fortunate, then, that the entirety of Arthur's knowledge is now Tsuna's too. Fortunate for his friends, at least, who apparently had more than enough reason to worry about him and his lack of self-preservation. He... probably owes them another apology, doesn't he?

Speaking of friends who worry about him, though- his eyes stray back to Haru, who is eagerly nodding at whatever Fon is saying, excitedly adding her own comments here and there with wild gestures and more exuberance than could possibly be contained in one body, never mind her bruises and the dirt all over her.

The sight of her makes part of him conflicted, a piece of Arthur that rubs Tsuna the wrong way and is likely why it hasn't been assimilated like the rest of him. Because of chivalry, the code he lived by, and the time period he grew up in, one in which women would never have been allowed to pick up arms and fight, in which they were to be kept away from harm along with children and protected by men, even untrained ones. Treated like porcelain glass and wives to be won over by knights and little more than property by those Arthur has always found despicable.

Part of him wants to protest, wants to put his foot down and impress upon her the danger she's unknowingly putting herself in, wants to reassure her that he'll keep her safe and that she doesn't need to worry about grisly things like battles and blood and fighting to the last man.

Every bit of Tsuna is wryly wondering whether Arthur actually thinks his words would do anything but piss her off. Tsuna's already been the sole focus of Haru's wrath, and he's not about to bring that upon himself again, especially not now that she's being formally trained- and certainly not for this.

Maybe it's because his mom would never stand for it, or maybe it's because he's been surrounded by badass women his whole life, Kyoko and Haru included, but Tsuna's never bought into the whole 'women are weaker' thing. It's never made sense to him, and he's never seen evidence of such nonsense. It reeks of misogyny and sexism, of men as a whole attempting once again to subjugate, to make themselves feel superior to everyone else, and there's nothing Tsuna likes _less_.

Quite simply, it's bullying on a large scale, and Tsuna is no bully. He doesn't want his friends to get hurt, and that extends to all of them, not just the girls.

Tsuna really admires the intent behind the codes of chivalry, behind knighthood. Protecting people because it's the right thing to do - and without expecting compensation in return - will never be wrong, but Tsuna's not interested in saving damsels. He wants to protect everyone equally, absolutely anyone who needs his help, and not just women and children. As good as the intentions might have been at the time, lumping women in with children who genuinely can't protect themselves, who _are_ too young and inexperienced and need saving- it's demeaning and infantilizing. It's an awful way to treat a grown adult who can make their own decisions and learn to fight as well as or better than any man.

It makes him angry that people can't see that, that they're blinded by prejudice and society and unable to tell truth from lies- in some cases, willfully so. Makes him angry and upset and fiercely, supremely proud of all of his friends for not succumbing to that kind of toxic mindset. Because agreeing with 'the way it's always been' is easier than disagreeing. Because submitting is easier than fighting. It's the coward's way of thinking, and not a single one of his friends are the cowardly sort.

Haru and Kyoko and even I-Pin once she's older- If they're dead set on fighting, on protecting others, well, Tsuna will happily point them towards Reborn and encourage them with everything he has.

He would _love_ to set Haru on his enemies. Honestly, he's not entirely sure there would be anything left of them afterwards. Haru is terrifyingly vicious. Combined with Kyoko, who can be just as cheerfully unforgiving and merciless… The two of them could take over the world, and it would be _easy_. Tsuna considers himself lucky they're content to stick to Namimori and to use their many talents to aid him. Lucky and utterly humbled by their kindness and dedication.

(In the back of his mind, he feels that conflicted bit of Arthur fade, appeased, and with it the knot of anxious disapproval in his stomach.

It makes him hopeful that eventually this feeling of being of overfull and fit to bursting will fade, too.)

**V.**

"Haru-kun is a remarkable student," Fon comments, sipping his tea with a serene smile on his face. He looks over at Reborn and says, "I was surprised when you asked for my assistance in this matter, but now I understand."

Reborn tugs his hat down, making a noise of agreement but not saying a word on the subject otherwise.

He doesn't like calling in favors, especially when it comes to a job he should be capable of completing on his own and _even more so_ when the help in question is another Arcobaleno (there's a _reason_ they go decades without even speaking to each other), but in this case, it was necessary. Haru's anger is too uncontrolled, too volatile. The fact that she loses all sense of reasoning when under its influence is not a good sign. He's almost surprised she's not a Storm, but Lightning is a good fit, too.

Reborn has never had a problem controlling his own anger. Has, in fact, never experienced any sort of drop in skill even under cases of extreme emotion. His emotions have never ruled him, and thus, he'd be next to useless teaching someone whose every action is dictated by what she feels at any given moment. Fon, on the other hand, is a master of fueling his corrosive anger into every strike, every movement, and is all the more deadly for it. He appears to be calm and unruffled because he suppresses his emotions lest his own flames run wild, and in all the years Reborn has known him, his control has only ever slipped once.

He hates to admit it, but Haru needs to learn that same control, and there's no better teacher. The fact that he knew Haru would excel in hand to hand combat, that which Fon is also a master of, was another consideration. Haru's a potential Guardian and a member of Tsuna's Family, and Reborn will mold her into just as much of a threat as the rest of his students are shaping up to be. To do anything less would be entirely unacceptable.

Unfazed by his silence, Fon continues, smile more genuine, "I-Pin is glad to have a fellow pupil."

And she is. Reborn hasn't seen the girl this happy since the last time Fon visited. Haru has taken to her role as I-Pin's senpai with the same enthusiasm, never mind that she's technically below I-Pin in skill. He's sure that won't be the case much longer, regardless. Haru's a hard worker and a fast learner.

"Though it seems Lambo-kun is not happy with this state of affairs," Fon says, amused, likely remembering this morning when Lambo burst into angry tears and traded places with his and I-Pin's older selves when he didn't get his way, resulting in a chaotic five minutes Reborn had no hand in and that left him sorely tempted to put a permanent end to the fifteen year old Bovino's crying, potential backup Guardian or no.

Not wanting to dwell on that headache, Reborn speaks for the first time, narrowing his eyes. "I didn't expect you to agree so quickly." He plans to call in Colonello to train his two Suns as soon as they're healed and able to train, and he knows _that_ conversation won't go nearly as smoothly, even if he'll obviously get what he wants in the end.

"Hm." Fon returns his gaze to the window, eyes going distant. "I owe your student for taking such good care of I-Pin. Not many would accept a child, let alone a child assassin, into their homes without hesitation or compensation, but he did so with open arms." He sets aside his tea and glances at Reborn. "His generosity is not his only notable quality, however. I noted in our first meeting that Tsuna-san has the makings of a great leader."

"Tsuna's not my worst student," Reborn allows, and wonders where Fon is going with this. Nowhere good, considering he's changed from his vaguely genial smile to his I'm-being-pleasant-but-also-divulging-some-bad-news smile.

"He had excellent potential," Fon says calmly before finally getting to his point. "Imagine my surprise that after only two months, that potential has been more than realized."

Reborn meets his piercing stare head on, not cowed in the least. He'd suspected that's what this was about, but he hadn't expected Fon to confront him directly. Usually, Fon is content with observing and making idle comments and only going the direct route once he has all the facts and is ready to corner his prey. In this case, though, there's little chance Fon has discovered Tsuna's secret. Even for _them_ , it would be hard to come to such a conclusion - and harder to believe without undeniable proof in the form of a gleaming holy sword and unshakeable trust in Tsuna himself.

"Tsuna still has a long way to go," Reborn rebuffs, and it's true. Reincarnated king or not, Tsuna has barely scratched the surface of the Mafia, and regardless, he's still struggling with an identity crisis. He has faith Tsuna will get everything under control eventually, and luckily, he has time to do so while he and his Family are recovering. After, well...

Fon smiles knowingly, and it grates. "I don't expect you to divulge anything, Reborn. Extracting information from you is much like pulling teeth. I'm simply warning you. I won't be the only one to find it strange that a civilian child with less than a year of training has the bearing of a seasoned boss."

He doesn't grimace, but he does tug his fedora down again. He doesn't need the warning. He's already well aware Tsuna's new demeanor is a cause for concern in just about everyone around him. His Guardians have definitely noticed, and Tsuna's reassuring smiles are doing nothing to lessen their worry.

Reborn hadn't lied when he'd given Tsuna excuses not to reveal the truth to anyone, but he hadn't let on his primary reason. Tsuna is afraid of their reactions and at the same time doesn't want to burden them with his problems. Knowing what Reborn does about his life as Arthur, he'd opted to let Tsuna come to terms with everything first and then gather his friends to explain later once he felt capable of doing so. Right now, forcing Tsuna to tell them could possibly be the worst thing for him. Not to mention, Reborn is leery of doing anything that might be considered betrayal, even something as small as putting Tsuna through another one of his tests. He has to tread carefully.

Nevertheless, he does grudgingly appreciate Fon looking out for Tsuna. Tsuna needs all the allies he can get. Now more than ever.

"I'll keep that in mind," he says, which might as well be a thank you coming from him.

Understanding as much, Fon smiles and says, "I'll hold you to that. I-Pin would be heartbroken were something to happen to her Tsuna-nii."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I didn't get Hayato's character horribly wrong. :/
> 
> \- I wanted Hayato to have a role outside simply being a potential guardian, and assuming Hayato lied about him becoming 10th if he killed Tsuna or else knew Reborn was lying & it didn't work like that (& assuming Reborn was testing both of them), then we have Hayato hired to "test" Tsuna in any way he sees fit (or perhaps with certain criteria?) in canon. So KA!Tsuna gets a different test bc he has a different main weakness.
> 
> \- Hayato could have blown himself up without covering himself in fakes, but he went with a more dramatic and immediately alarming visual. Plus, less dangerous for him. That he didn't even threaten to after being found out is bc he was rattled by Tsuna's insight & sincerity, and his temper got the better of him, leading to a similar scene in canon.
> 
> \- Hayato's suicidal tendencies are a canon trait and something Tsuna would find alarming & try to fix. (Plus he was stalling for time.) I think it ties into issues of self worth and insecurity, & that's kinda what I've based his chapter around.
> 
> \- Hayato is a genius, and he's been betrayed before (or so he thinks; he believes his father had his mother killed; and if I'm totally wrong on that, whoops), & ofc he pays closer attention to Tsuna than anyone else. Just made sense to me that he'd figure something out. I hc Yamamoto as being super observant about his friends & able to read and change the mood, so he picked up that something's super wrong, too.
> 
> \- I might be leaning into Fanon territory with Tsuna's Hyper Intuition being so strong & helpful, esp. before being unsealed, but Tsuna is very, very good at reading people without it. The Intuition just helps him make leaps of logic that lead to better insight. It's all very instinctual.
> 
> \- Merlin was long gone by the time of Mordred's betrayal (still working out how I'm going about this & what parts of different explanations/legends I'll be using), & I'm going with Arthur chose not to contact him. But yeah, he couldn't even if he tried.
> 
> \- My take on Merlin is inspired by his portrayal in Disney's The Sword in the Stone, which I loved. So this is not Fate's Merlin, just to be clear, who I don't know much about aside from he's apparently young-looking & pretty. This Merlin is an old, lovable crazy grandpa type.
> 
> \- As for Tsuna, here is my attempt to explain why he's seen as stupidly selfless to the point of recklessness. He's got good instincts, but had no one to teach him proper strategy/planning, whereas Arthur was taught from a young age. Unlike Emiya Shirou (who I'm really, really not trying to emulate here; feel free to keep calling me out on this), he will not recklessly throw himself into a dangerous situation, esp. if there's no point, no matter what his friends might think. He values his life & needs to stay alive if he wants to complete his dream.
> 
> \- Did anyone guess Haru's tutor might be Fon? Hopefully didn't butcher his character lmao


End file.
